Thursday, November 26, 2009
woke up with an sms saying 'Party animal! Sober yet? Lol, you going not?'

going where? with who? do what? when? and i realised that the mech eng people were heading out for a pool session without even asking me. apparently i wasn't asked because i wasn't online. WHAT THE SHIT. - . - anyone heard of the invention called the handphone? oh my goodness. i'm so upset by this exclusion from the group and from the pool session. it's either they didn't want me there or they just forgot bout me. which is SCREWED UP. sighhhh

am i that pathetic? zzz


Dwayne ||| 1:42 PM

+++++


was i just a pawn in your game of 'chess'?


Dwayne ||| 5:44 AM

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Saturday, November 21, 2009
Dear Blog,

my life has been a complete mess for the past week or so. i've been studying quite hard trying to get myself in sync with lessons and also to catch up on all the work that i havent been doing since the mid term tests. Well, things havent been going according to plan - obviously.

with two papers (out of 5) done, i'm feeling more and more inclined towards just sitting through the remaining three papers. to just get it over and done with. there doesn't seem to be a point to study anymore. NUS - No Use Studying. quite apt i suppose. of the 5 modules that i'm taking, my highest hope lies in EG1413, relatively hoping that i'd be lucky and score an A for that. as for physics, i have totally no idea where i stand. Maths is the next confident mod. 7/10 for mid terms probably boosts my percentage by quite a bit and if i do manage to understand the concepts behind line integral and surface integral, i might just scrap another A. but even then, that's quite unlikely. next up, CS1101C. my labs have been a disaster. 20/35 all in all. midterms was an average of 59/100. i wanna do well for the finals too but it seems that i've just been neglecting my computing. eg1109 might probably get the same grade as physics. i'm still bemoaning my stupidity for attending the two non-required quizes. sighh. my only motivation to study now is so that i can win that sushi tei all-you-can-eat from li heng.

my studies havent been the only thing affecting me. a certain individual has been causing me to feel highly frustrated. lets call this person A. for a long while now, we have been hanging out quite a bit and we're really good frens and all. but as much as i've my doubts bout the survivability of a possible relationship, i find myself thinking bout A more and more each day. the time spent together seems so short and the absence just seems so long. even my afternoon naps are affected. i try to sleep but end up tossing and turning about in bed cos thoughts of her cross my mind every now and then. i hope i'll be able to sort this out once the exams end. i really do. i wanna get out of this misery and live in happiness, hopefully with A.

i've been praying alot recently. and i really hope that He can hear my pleas for help. nevertheless, i'm glad he has blessed me with good results for my mid terms and i hope he'll continue to shower his blessings on me.

till the next post.
emolonelyboy88

ps. cecily wrote me a very nice postcard. so happy! ^.^ thx! do tc in norway my dear fren and God bless you always! =)


Dwayne ||| 7:54 PM

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Friday, November 13, 2009
hmm. i starting to dread my decision in taking the eg1108 test. as expected, i got another 0 for this test and that really sucks. it's basically like giving up marks.

i had the option of taking an mc for the test and then choosing to have a higher percentage taken from my final examination. sadly, i only realised there was such an option when i was on the way to the test.

oh well. what's done can't be undone i guess. and i have NO OTHER OPTION except to mug my life away for the next 1 week or so. it's tiring and it really sucks when i can't do qns but there ain't a choice. rmb. NO WHITE FLAG ABOVE MY DOOR.




god helps those who help themselves. do my best and god will do the rest.


Dwayne ||| 1:43 PM

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Thursday, November 05, 2009
WAKE UP!!!


Dwayne ||| 11:38 PM

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Wednesday, November 04, 2009
i wanna start afresh.
i want a clean slate
i just wanna do well


Dwayne ||| 11:56 PM

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uh oh...
die

there's more than one....


Dwayne ||| 2:17 AM

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Sunday, November 01, 2009
sigh. perhaps i've been overly emo about all that's happening around me now.
life ain't smooth sailing.
these problems that i'm facing probably make up those crests of waves that plague the surface of the otherwise peaceful and flat water.
i'm weak. i'm only human after all.
like a small sampan boat out at sea, it struggles.
the waves at sea threatening ever so often to capsize the small boat.
i've capsized. and i've capsized it back. emptying the water, only to find holes in the boat.
and as the holes enlarge, i can only sing dido's song, White flag:
i will go down with this ship. BUT I WONT PUT MY HANDS UP AND SURRENDER. THERE WILL BE NO WHITE FLAG ABOVE MY DOOR.
but it's just so difficult.
so very difficult.

my whole life, i'm made to rue missed opportunities. spurned my chances. do everything halfway. in other words, i never ever showed the commitment in doing the things i did. my studies ain't good. i'm not born with BGR skills. i'm not especially talented in sports. it seems like i'm just following through with the motion of everything.

guo xing had these to say to me after i told him what happened during the test:

: i know how you feel la...
: just feel fucked up for awhile
: dont dwell on it
: and start mugging
: 3 weeks. seriously. no time for self pity and fucked-up ness liao
: come on boss...

the 4th and 5th line hit me. it struck me so hard. mug? havent i been mugging ever since week 3? and yes. 3 weeks more till finals. how fast can it get. my modules and subjects are very poor. it's like i'm threading water in the open sea. tiredness is sinking in and my mental state has been very fragile of late. there have been times of support from close friends here and there. they provide encouragement and motivation whenever i'm down. but. i just can't pick myself up, i can't stand up so soon after i face a setback. i need time to cool down. i need time to 'dwell in self-pity' before finally snapping out of it the next day. on times like this i wish i had a girlfriend. yes. desperation, some call it. but, someone who understands what i'm going through. someone who knows what i need when i'm in this shit. to just head to the beach, sit down in each other's embrace, and just enjoy each other's company. words need not be exchanged. i'll feel assured. and i NEED and YEARN this assurance. sighhh

i literally sped home after the test. might get a speeding ticket if i'm unlucky. nearly caused/got involved in an accident when i cut 3 lanes to exit the AYE.

was supposed to attend jiamin's and ben's birthdays. both 21st. i was very reluctant to turn up for either. mj came up with the lamest of excuse to change her rsvp at the last minute. the rest of the councillors weren't going. yet, i dragged myself out of the house. for what reason? i have no idea. probably in the naive thinking that i could probably cheer myself up, somehow. it didn't work. affected by the test, i was overcome with this sense of awkwardness upon seeing her. i talked to her for bout 10mins before leaving. i went straight home. i was totally not in the mood to attend parties.

it's 12.30am now. its the start of a new day. sleep probably is the best cure, followed by spending an hour with God. it'll be back to muggin again tmr before going for my facial at 4pm. why am i in such torment?




i will go down with this ship. but i wont put my hands up and surrender. there will be no white flag above my door


Dwayne ||| 12:02 AM

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Saturday, October 31, 2009
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME?!
I KNEW HOW TO DO THE FUCKING QUESTION!
AND FOR ONCE I HAD A DECENT CHANCE OF AT LEAST GETTING AN 'S' FOR IT
BUT I FUCKING SCREWED UP
I MADE ONE STUPID FUCKING CARELESS MISTAKE AND NOW I'M GONNA GET ANOTHER 'U' FOR MY TEST.
I FUCKED UP ONCE AGAIN.
OH. HOW NOT SURPRISING.
I'VE FUCKED MY WHOLE LIFE AWAY ALREADY ANYWAY.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHH


Dwayne ||| 11:58 AM

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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Stress is here again. in Eg1109, stress can be calculated by the following equations:

σ = Force / Cross sectional area

yet, the stress i'm referring to here has nothing to do with the mechanics of materials.

i'm at an all time low once again. putting it in mechanics terms, the bending moment that i'm experiencing now will just about create a fracture very soon.
it cas come to a point where i've begun to doubt myself. why am i in university. what am i doing here. why am i studying engineering. why can't i do my work. why am i falling behind in everything. why hasn't everything been going according to plan. why can't i ever catch up. why why why. the problem all comes from me and myself. i suck at studies but there's nth i can do about it. or should i say, i'm trying to do something about it but there just ain't anything that proves that i'm improving. it's highly frustrating and the feeling sometimes gets suicidal. the thought of struggling through university for the next 4 years in a course that i'm hardly interested in doesn't help matters at all. engin's not for me. arts' not for me. i'm not cut out sciences. basically i'm good at nothing that's to do with studying. i'm so pissed at myself.

cs1101c. it's a module on computing. i believe its an 'either you see it or your dont' kind of module. and sadly, i dont. i've been going for lab sessions without much progress. i study all the concepts and everything but i have no idea how to apply. i can't look at a qn and not ask myself, wth is this qn asking me to do. i can't think through how to form an algoritm.

pc1431. physics. passing mid term test with 10/20 was a total fluke. if i pass the finals, it'll be an even bigger fluke. i havent touched physics, LITERALLY, since recess week. how screwed up is that? i have totally no idea where's the lecture at now. i have totally no idea what's going on since the chapter on energy. how to pass physics? beats me.

eg1109. i tried so hard to catch up. i'm studying all i can for this saturday's test. but when it comes to qns, i'll just get stuck. i can't do it. really. it ain't working at all. i can't even do the tutorial qns. what good is that?

i really dunno what to do now. i just need someone to guide me along. in everything. but there's no one around... none at all.

i do believe that i only curse and swear the F word when i'm really pissed off. when i'm at the brink of explosion. well, it's exactly what i'm feeling now. so.

FUCK MY LIFE. FUCK EVERY SINGLE FUCKING JIGSAW PIECE OF MY LIFE NOW.


Dwayne ||| 5:45 PM

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Thursday, October 22, 2009
miko chewed on my oakleys. yes. my 200+ bucks oakleys. sighhh it's gonna cost me 100+ to replace the lens alone. that bloody bitch of a dog...

hallow 21's coming.
and i dunno what to wear. oh noooooo... =((


Dwayne ||| 4:58 AM

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Thursday, October 15, 2009
hur hur. sometimes i really wonder why i've never been attached before. go ahead. say my ego's big. but i dont really care and i really really really do wonder what m i lacking that just keeps me single at the moment.

perhaps i'm just too indecisive. perhaps i'm still searching for what i really want. but i guess i'm just not interested in short-living relationships. i'm just thinking of a '1 x good one'. one girlfriend, only girlfriend, to wife. and it can be exasperating at times to keep searching but hopefully i'll find her soon

as for 31st october, just waiting for things to happen and develop themselves slowly. but suddenly i'm being sceptical bout what i'm feeling. seems like she ain't gotten over her bf apparently. like their relationship didn't really have a proper closure. so i hope i'll get to know what i'm into soon... sighhh

back to work.

p.s. ris low's interview doesn't help her reputation at all.
http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/video/video.php?v=183307235967&ref=nf


Dwayne ||| 11:46 AM

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Monday, October 12, 2009
two of my mid term tests have been revealed.
physics: 10/20
maths: 7/10

i'm definitely very satisfied with both sets of results but then again, the scores were probably down to alot of luck and definitely the Good Lord's blessing.
i feel sad for heng and kenneth. they seem to have put in equal, if not more effort than me but they probably didn't receive grades that gave a proper reflection of that effort. sighh. we must work hard together!

so things seem to have been relatively smooth sailing so far. even with regards to a certain J. and i guess things just have to be taken slowly. much much slowly. Patience and determination are the keywords here. i guess my baby steps so far have returned positive results and so... i'll continue what i'm doing and hope something happens in the future! =)



for the first time. i am looking in your eyes. for the first time, i'm seeing who you are...


Dwayne ||| 11:06 PM

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009
i think the maths mid term paper was not set to kill
but to me, it felt like it killed whatever ounce of soul left in my hollow body.
it didn't help when people were telling me they could get 7 or 8 out of 10.
totally not helping the cause

which brings me to the topic of being modest.

i agree that being modest is a good thing. but there should also be a limit to how modest one should be. if you hav a strong ability, dont hide it. but at the same time. dont brag about it. dont go around saying hey i suck. i'm totally lousy and cannot make it. cos this extent of 'modesty' has unknowingly changed into bragging. do you know what's going on in the other person's mind when u say that? things like 'hey. if you're saying u're shit, means i'm worse than shit.' yes. thats the psychological impact that u're causing.

if someone praises you. just accept it. at most, shrug it off and say there are better people. but dont say you're lousy. cos it can really be very depressing.



uni life hasn't exactly been what i expected it to be. i keep telling myself to stay in there. stay in the race. finish it. commitment. that no matter how hard it is, i must go through it. and hopefully make the most out of it. my grades hav been less than satisfactory and doesn't look like they'll improve anytime soon. i'm struggling with finishing tutorials and studying for tests at the same time. my social life has totally dissipated into thin air. how sad can my life get?

i'm just happy that my bouts of depression seem to be over. i'll find my stress outlet soon. but chocs have been a great source of happiness to me. thx hui ying =)


Dwayne ||| 10:37 PM

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Monday, September 07, 2009
school work's piling up. i've been trying desperately to clear my assignments but it's just a never ending chore. it's getting me very stressed up. it doesn't get any better when people like C and W go braggin bout how much tutorials they have already done. the ignorance of such people. yet i efforts in forcing myself to study took a blow when msn seeming can't be deleted. i'll just have to rely on my own willpower i guess. sigh...


Dwayne ||| 1:21 AM

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Sunday, August 30, 2009
man utd were totally second best. period.

how could you say arsenal totally failed? it simply shows your lack of depth when it comes to footballing. and cos it came from you, i felt even more angry. oh my goodness.

i really detest those people who are supporters just because there are cute guys in the team. or just because their team keeps winning. being a fan is about believing in the club, the players, the manager, the philosophy, the history and everything else. not just cos hey, number 10 is sooooooo cuteeeeee. how retarded.


Dwayne ||| 3:51 PM

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Friday, August 07, 2009
i'll be giving it a try
why not?
but i hope it'll turn out good.

engine o week still ongoing.
and it has been not too bad for day 3 onwards
hopefully day 5 will b a fitting end to it.



Hold me, Guide me, walk me through this dark passageway


Dwayne ||| 2:42 AM

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Wednesday, August 05, 2009
the camp was a huge letdown. and i can only hope it'll start to gather pace and be more fun.
as of now, i'm just very buay gum with the group. feels like i can't click with ANYONE.

anyhow, i'm so dead with the bidding system.
i cocked up
i screwed up
hence even more administrative matters to deal with.
hais.

Dear God, Please help me!


Dwayne ||| 1:02 AM

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Monday, August 03, 2009
my hopes somewhat dashed
but yet, there's still that small glimmer of hope
perhaps attempting to change someone isn't that naive, isn't that impossible.
it just requires effort.

just go for it and try
life is full of regrets
we should reduce those regrets

engine camp is today but my mind's drifting off somewhere else
the times spent with TZ have been fun and memorable
and i hope our spirit will never wane out.
hopefully the 10th of Aug will be as awesome as ever.


Dwayne ||| 2:36 PM

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Saturday, August 01, 2009
he's always there.
the ever-living one
and i feel heartened that he's always there to listen to my troubles.
welcoming me, embracing me into his arms.
my troubles and burdens all lifted off.
i'm glad to be his child



-loving someone is to accept his/her flaws and turning them into beautiful things.


Dwayne ||| 2:19 AM

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Thursday, July 30, 2009
what hurts the most,
is being so close.
and having so much to say,
and watching you walk away

your vibe has been that centre of attraction that has caught me entwined in this huge mess of feelings. i'm lost, i'm confused. yet just that short glimpse makes me feel better straight away. i dont know where to go from here.

someone help me please.


Dwayne ||| 12:52 AM

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Thursday, January 01, 2009
its another new year, another time for new beginnings, to make amends, to forget the bad of 2008.
i've decided not to have any new year resolutions cos i realized that i never remember them and thus i never keep to them. haha.
my 2008 resolutions weren't fulfilled!

anyway, 2009 will hopefully be a good one as i prepare to re-enter the realm of knowledge with university starting in august. for those of you who are unsure, i'll be heading to the National University of Singapore, studying Mechanical Engineering.

and YES, i'll be 21 this year! my brain still seems to be functioning like a 17 year old though. haha.

and i seem to be starting to feel e uselessness of a blog. so 2009 might see e closing down of this site.. kekekek


to everyone out there, happy 2009! =)


Dwayne ||| 3:35 PM

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Monday, December 29, 2008

Woodlands Checkpoint Needs Improvement

Security vs Efficiency.
I wonder if these two things can co-exist at the Singapore Woodlands Checkpoint. I went down to Johor Bahru on saturday for a wedding dinner and as usual, was stuck in the jam while travelling towards and returning from JB. The jam at the causeway has become somewhat a normity and i wonder whether has there actually been any actions taken to curb this problem.

Yes, i agree that security is of utmost importance. However, i also believe that efficiency, and not complacency, plays a part in ensuring the wrong people do not enter or leave our shores. Take for example the number of lane divisions at the passport scanning section on the way back to singapore. There are MANY booths for cars to go to to scan their passports but i question the practicality of having only 1 lane for all the cars at the booths to converge to. it brings unnecessary delay and causes an unwelcome line of cars that snakes all the way back to johor.

My australian cousin who was travelling with us also had a bad time at the checkpoint. as the passport couldn't be scanned properly, an officer from the checkpoints office was dispatched to our location to bring us back to the office. it took close to 15 mins for the officer to arrive anyway. wouldn't it be more practical to station a few officers along the length of the booths to provide greater efficiency? even then, i'm disappointed by the inability to provide manual scanning of the passport at the booth itself.

perhaps lanes should be widened and more personnel mobilised. we should promote efficiency while at the same time NOT compromising security. i hope i wont be encountering similar problems the next time i'm at the causeway.


Dwayne ||| 12:43 AM

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Sunday, December 21, 2008
So many times I asked myself
Why was I born, and what I grew up for?
Why the clouds float and rains pour
In this world dont expect anything for yourself

I would have flown to the clouds, but I have no wings
That starlight lures me from faraway
But to reach the star is hard even though the goal is near
And I dont know if Ill have enough strength for the throw
I will wait a bit more
And then prepare myself for the journey
Towards my dream and hope
Dont burn out yet star of mine wait

How many roads will I still have to travel?
How many mountains will I have to conquer to find myself?
How long will I have to fall from the cliff?
How many times will I have to start all from zero, and is there any meaning to it?

I will wait a bit more
And then prepare myself for the journey
Towards my dream and hope
Dont burn out yet, star of mine, wait


Dwayne ||| 5:09 PM

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Monday, December 15, 2008



Dwayne ||| 10:36 PM

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Sunday, November 30, 2008
yes! my BIRD finally arrived. haa. take a look at the pictures! =))





Dwayne ||| 10:07 PM

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Monday, November 24, 2008
12 km in 56:20

not too bad considering i didn't run for a very long time.

stan chart coming soon. AHHHhhhh


Dwayne ||| 8:51 PM

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Sunday, November 16, 2008
Being an arsenal fan nowadays is becoming more and more frustrating, especially with the strong influence of the media. after the win over manchester united, people were saying arsenal were good and stuff. then the win over wigan in midweek saw them pour more praise over the youngsters at arsenal. and after 2 fantastic results, you get another loss at home to aston villa. totally frustrating.


anyway, so i've laid my hands on a kestrel Talon. Full carbon, with dura ace rear deraileurs and FSA crank set and shimano 105 front ds. i've got low end ksyrium rims. throwing in the aerobars, front/rear lights, helmet, Look Keo classic pedals, shimano clip shoes and bottle cage. the total combination was not too bad actually and came to about 3.3k. relatively good deal larr. but now i'm gonna go into hibernation mode. no food, no going out, no clubbing, no nothing. hahaha. unless i dun have to spend money at all. LOL

i intend to change the front ds eventually. hopefully to at least an ultegra SL. looking into the possibility of changing the brakes as well. PLUS, upgrading the wheelset to DURA-ACE. WOOTS. but i'll have to leave that to next time.

i'll get pics up once i finally make payment on the bike. hopefully my dad will sponsor me part of e price. HAHAHA. =))


Dwayne ||| 1:14 AM

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Sunday, November 09, 2008
this entry will probably strip me down to my naked bones.

i was on my way down to shelford for a game of tennis. was practically sleeping the whole afternoon away. i actually reached shelford but then there was this uneasiness that came over me. this feeling of desperation and isolation suddenly sent shivers down to my legs. the very legs that were controlling the accelarator and brake pedals. i sent J a msg saying i wasn't turning up cos i was gonna book in and then made a u turn back home, travelling a total of 26km in total. SORRY J!

So i'm sitting in front of my computer feeling all emo and stuff once again. i guess it's probably due to some rubbing off effect from the two Ys that i've been relatively close to recently. Break ups, personal problems, studies.. then i suddenly thought about myself. what i have achieved thus far, what i wanna be in life.

Grades haven't been fantastic for me. PSLE 136, failed to get into SJI. O levels 14, failed to get into AJC. A levels ACD A2, failed to get into Aerospace Engineering. so i've ended up at Maris Stella, CJC and NUS mechanical engineering after all the failures and the only positives that i can take from these are probably the friendships that i've made and the experiences i've attained. But i can't help but blame myself for not putting in much more effort for my studies. it was always play play and more play for me. to me, success is measured by how near i've been to attaining my goals. seems like all i've been getting are nothing but failures and disappointments. Family members get fed up with my fooling around instead of studying, getting poor grades and all. relatives may say that my results are alright but deep down i know that although i've put in my best, the results are never there to show the effort i've made.

Relationships have never been my forte. i'm not easy with words, i dont have balls that allow me to walk up to that hot chick at e mrt station and ask for her number, i dont even know how to be a boyfriend. the closest i ever got to was S which eventually became a scenario where i was just being played. The rest have all been crushes that i've totally wasted money on. i end up being materialistic, vain and image conscious.

over the years, i've evolved. not just to the strange build that i've got but also as a rude, vulgar, self-centered, materialistic, vain, and probably just plain stupid person that i am right now. i always wonder why can't i be like one of those gentlemen in american drama series that seem to be so full of character and class.

life is short. that's what yen told me. and its even shorter when u consider the fact that i'm already 20 and have probably the next 8 years to find the right one and then start a family. after that, another 20 years of slogging and i'll probably be retired, biding my time. sometimes i just wanna be released from knowing the truth. living in an eternal realm of self-denial, a pretense, a facade, a charade. i dont wanna keep telling myself that what i've achieved so far are nothing but useless grades.

yet what have i been doing recently? clubbing, spending money, wasting time. but it feels so good though. no worries. no grades to worry about. but at the end of the day i know that i'm just slipping into a cold and dark bottomless pit, the small hole of light at the top shrinking smaller and smaller with each passing day.

This insecurity is gonna ruin me somehow.but i'm in distress, i really am. i'm hoping someone will walk with me out of the tunnel, for me to finally breathe that fresh air. help...


Dwayne ||| 9:41 PM

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Arsenal 2 - 1 Man Utd

now thats what i call a match where real football is played. you probably can't find a more exciting game than that.

lotsa stuff happened over the past two weeks actually. there was halloween night at zouk, went looking for a buddy for max, sent max for castration on sunday, met two lovelorn frens at ecp, went zouk again on friday. yea. it was kinda exciting but omg. my wallet's crying for mercy now. i havent gone running in ages and now that standard chartered is coming up, i feel like my fitness is at its lowest of low.

was totally pissed on halloween night. V was supposed to have gone with S but somehow he pangseh-ed her. in e end V and C joined us. E was supposed to be there but she had to miss out cos of a fever. the night went alright until it started to get a little touchy. like... man.. i felt so disrespected. hey, my frens joined us to have fun together, not to get grinded by you guys. i mean, even if they didn't push u away, the least u could do was to at least give me a little face. so i was like wtf. i got so pissed, i left halfway and went outside to cool down a lil. z came out a little while later and was probably e only one that whole night to understand what was happening.

i got even more dissed when i returned to camp to hear people asking me repeatedly if i was interested in V. someone actually went one up to say V was my girlfriend. like WTF. you know sometimes it'd be better if you keep your mouths shut when you dont know ANYTHING about my social life. K still went further by spreading that V and C were 15 year olds which sparked boss Z to tell people i brought 15 year olds to zouk. wow. sometimes you guys shud just shut that gaping hole of yours when all thats flowing out is just rubbish, rubbish and more rubbish.

thinking bout everything just makes my blood boil. i may seem happy go lucky most of the time but i've got my limits.


Dwayne ||| 3:06 PM

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Sunday, November 02, 2008
Sunday, November 2nd.

Stoke City 2 - 1 Arsenal

well i guess this match really proves that you can play ugly and disgusting football but still win a game against a supposedly much stronger opposition. rough tackles flying in from all directions and blatant time wasting. wow. i guess this must be the recipe to success against arsenal - a team so bent on playing beautiful football. kudos to stoke city manager though. you have to give the man credit for coming up with such tactics.

i finally received my citibank clear card. so happy. but then again, still had to pay for friday night's voodoo halloween party at Zouk. it was an awesome night with frens. i'll update again once i find the mood. for now, i'm totally in the mood for cursing and swearing after watching that disturbing brand of football.


Dwayne ||| 1:03 AM

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Saturday, October 25, 2008
watched max payne and tropic thunder over the course of the week.

i felt max payne was not too bad but it was kinda confusing though. but i like it nevertheless. Double T was more forgettable with lots of lame humour and sadist jokes with all the spilling intestines and splattering blood. not forgetting the retardedness of 'Simple Jack'. Forgettable.
'you muh muh muh muh make me hair hair hair peeeeee...' - . -

nth else really happened though. cept somehow i managed to spend 70 bucks within a cool 3 days. i honestly have no idea what on. weird. yen hao's birthday was on thurs and no clubbing this week. haha.

there's talk that a few of us are gonna promote to corporal first class, including me. but oh well. $50 for the next 3 months? i could do with all the cash that i can get. ahhaha.

i'm waiting for my citibank card.

i went for the talk on early matriculation into university this morning with daniel and found long cheng and roy there too. it was highly frustrating to realize that i spent half an hr of travelling to go for talk that was roughly 28 mins - . - (it took half an hr cos i drove). and it got even worse when i found out that signing up for early matriculation not only DOESN'T GUARANTEE a reduction of 1 semester from your syllabus, it also requires a fee of $611.00 bucks. oh my GAWD. that's six-sevenths of my current pay and will probably leave me ramadan-ing for the rest of the month. oh well. i decided that it was kinda retarded and decided not to ponder on it anymore.

picked yonglin up and we trio headed down to town for lunch and some window shopping. was trying to find some nike thing to splurge my $10 voucher on but didn't find anything noteworthy. daniel was looking out for handphones while yonglin was probably spacing out most of the time due to his lack of sleep. haha. btw, i swear i'm never driving into town again. i realized my talent in avoiding ERP gantries and robber-like carpark fees by WALKING rather than driving. omg. driving in town is a horror. $6 erp and $12.40 worth of carpark fee. zzz. and to think i ended up going home pretty empty handed, apart from the filled stomach for lunch and 200g of my favourite Famous Amos No Nut chocolate chip cookies. heh.

btw, i'm somewhat getting more and more anti-social with each passing day. or perhaps i shud call myself lonelyboy88 again? haa. but jokes aside, i realized that with national service, i see myself drifting away with most, if not all of my friends. when i'm in camp, i hardly msg, hardly call anyone. why? cos i think that all thats in my mind is ns ns and more ns. there's hardly anything else interesting in my life anymore! there's nth i can talk about or digress to when i'm talking to someone. there's no flavour, no colour, no spice, no taste. and it became even more obvious when i met daniel today. the feeling was so distant. almost to the point of strangers, considering we were very good friends before. oh the perils of national service.

somebody prove me wrong?


Dwayne ||| 9:40 PM

+++++

Sunday, October 19, 2008
DAMN I NEED THAT CITIBANK CLEAR CARD

1st october 2008

first time at zouk. more like sausage party though. gx found new a.k. lim and ended up somewhere in pasir ris after that. HAHAHA. papa sierra and daddy yankee came along. 28th batch could probably muster and headcount there too. ruiteck was a wreck after.

3rd october 2008

so i decided to give wakeboarding a go and it turned out quite fun! pancaked many times though but being able to glide on the water felt good. aws in the sun from 10+ till 2+. totally looked like a chilly crab. and went tennis in the evening for another 3hrs. nearly died the next day, whole body aching.

thats mervyn

my first few stands..

just before i pancaked

GODSPEED

6th october 2008

cancelled leave to return to camp only to realise that i was too be involve in a display for permanent secretary for defence. i mean like.. what the shit. prone in the grass, put on all the equipment, hear some bird sound, stand, take aim, den go down and prone again. - . - sounds fcuking dumb right? but oh well. lt col foxtrot said it was going to be a display that will showcase the capabilities of NSFs in udg and the potential of NSFs taking on bigger roles in the saf in the future. oh well. whatever

8th october 2008

2nd time at zouk. it was much better with the queue stretching all the way to the end of the road. nth much happened this time cept papa charlie came alone. haa. drank too much and was totally wasted for the first 1 hr. took me to the toilet to vomit twice before i regained my senses and the drowsiness stopped. stupid gx. make me drink chivas like drink water. knn.

10th october 2008

the high life continued. this time at double o. it was a forgettable experience. the air con seemed to be faulty. just utter gross-ness at the dancefloor. everyone was wet and sweaty. yucks. total turn-off. gx thought he found another a.k. lim but decided to give it up instead. he was kinda dead and ended up leaving the place earlier than all of us without telling us. we thought he was halfway to pasir ris getting raped again. hur hur

Dwayne ||| 3:56 PM

+++++

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

haa. those are the three stress balls that i've gotten through blood donation. the first of which, the heart, was in 2006 when i was j2. second, the blood droplet, was this year in jun while the tomato was today!

weird to have a tomato as a stress ball. sudden remembrance of yulsie. den keep squeezing her to pump the blood out. HAHAHHA =X


so i was back from taiwan on saturday. spent over 600 bucks there and i'm satisfied. cept for the part where the stupid dog took one side of my yellow supernova shoes and used it as a chewtoy. i came back with the other side and a new pair of supernova shoes bought from over there. i've got 3 cartons of instant noodles too. some honeycakes and tai yang bings. and whatever else crap and bullshit that i brought back. i'll upload the pics another time. too lazy now. the pics are nth new anyway cos we more or less went back to the same places as in april.




MAMBO


Dwayne ||| 10:57 PM

+++++

Friday, September 26, 2008
haa. i'm blogging from one of the taiwanese lan shops now.
exercise has been kinda alright
training was suspended for a couple of days due to typoon warnings given out.
but overall, we were glad to be the pioneer batch for _____________

i'm finally coming home tmr! yay. i miss home. family, frens, DOGGGGggg. haha. but it has been a great trip here. i've bought some stuff for friends and all so hope you guys like them =)


Dwayne ||| 2:10 PM

+++++

Sunday, September 07, 2008
here are my official timings:

RunNUS 10km 0:57:08
AHM/Safra Singapore Bay Run 1:56:06:06
Nike HumanRace 10km 0:51:57


xian i thought i'd get something from the nike race. turned out.. mr 43 mins(alex ong) was 60th and there was about 400 people between his timing and mine. ZZZzzz

btw, i realised that mr hoesanna's serve is effing power. ace for free sia. haha
but now that i know the technique alr, it's time to practice my serve! hahah


Dwayne ||| 6:48 PM

+++++

Saturday, August 30, 2008
Army Half Marathon
RunNUS
Nike+ HumanRace 10km



Dwayne ||| 3:18 PM

+++++

Thursday, August 28, 2008
Topic of the day: The continual flak barrage received by the National University of Singapore

i guess the hotness of the topic arose when one of the professors at the NUS wrote an article on the increasing popularity of singapore universities, or particularly the NUS, being the choice of study for most students. if my memory serves me right, i think he said something like singaporeans should focus their child's attention on placing them in local universities instead of those overseas because of the rising stature of our education system. at the same time, it is also not possible to neglect the fact that our local universities are slowly but surely climbing up the ranks of Best Universities in the World.

that article sparked an ST reader to write in. and den another. and den another and i believe more will continue to write into the ST forum.

all of them deplored the fact that local universities seemed to place more priority in accepting foreign 'scholars' than local students, that local students are somewhat forced to study overseas, that local universities did not provide our own local students with a chance at their preferred course of study. all these sentiments came in response to the earlier post by the NUS professor.

i'm not exactly in the position to comment much but the following are just some of my thoughts on the situation.

there's a huge difference between studying locally and studying overseas. When u study in singapore universities, what you get are top educators, top facilities and closeness to family and friends. what you get in overseas universities, are probably above average educators, above average facilities, and some other things that money cannot buy - independence, confidence and character.

firstly how do you measure the success of a person in his life? you may have all the qualifications in the world but still fail at making money. why? because you probably lack confidence. you probably lack people relations. you probably lack independence, character, risk-taking and whatever qualities that you can think up of. you can argue that you can learn these qualities while studying in local universities. but whats the learning curve like? are you sure you are that committed to picking up these skills. compare it to being overseas. where you are somewhat all alone and have probably paid thousands of dollars just to enrol yourself in that university. isn't the drive to work harder even higher? isn't the incentive to be self-sufficient and independent even higher? btw, my focus here is on the middle-income families. what point would it serve to those higher-income ones?

i believe what companies out there are looking for nowadays are not only paper qualifications. they require you to have that extra quality which will enable them to put their trust in you. i once heard from my dad about this guy who seemed to be more than capable of the job but the moment he opened his mouth, it was more or less out the window for him. the certs that you get overseas may not be that recognised but then again, it is undeniable and hard to ignore how priceless the maturity that you've gained while studying abroad.

i AM contemplating going overseas to study.



Dwayne ||| 12:21 PM

+++++

Wednesday, August 27, 2008
heh. i once saw this quite long ago in a chain mail

We know that women like two things, your time and your money

therefore... women = time x money

Now time equals money, so

women = money x money

Money is the root of all evil, so

money = √evil

By squaring both sides of the equation,

(money)2 = evil

therefore,

women = (money)2 = evil

haha. but then again. evil is negative.
which makes √evil imaginary
which means money is imaginary
and thus time is also imaginary
- . -

wow. i wonder what am i proving...


Dwayne ||| 9:48 PM

+++++

Tuesday, August 26, 2008
ok. i've resumed normal life after that moment of ranting yesterday and am glad to confirm that any loss of sanity has been regained. any one offended during the process of my much depressing emo-ism shall receive my utmost sincere apologies and regret. =))



so the Olympics, Beijing 2008, officially closed on Sunday. marking the end of a sporting event in which 43 records were broken in all events, more than Sydney 2000 or Athens 2004. Targets were set. Some achieved, some faltered. some disappointed when they should have brought glory and honour, in the form of that bronze, silver, or even gold medal (with that little bit of jade in it), back to their motherland.

Singapore achieved its first medal in nearly half a century through the valiant and determined performances from our paddlers Li JiaWei, Feng TianWei and Wang YueGu. Though none can deny the efforts put in by the three wonderfully talented women, debates have arisen regarding the worthiness of singapore getting the much-coveted olympics medal.

Well, the truth is, all of singapore's representatives in the table tennis team, namely the three players, as well as the coach, all came from china. Many questioned whether we should really be proud as a nation when the players who won us the medals all heralded from china. but in my honest and probably valueless opinion, i guess, it doesn't matter at all where these players come from. At the time when the event was ongoing, the truth is, they represented Singapore. They bore our country's flag on the very jersey that they wore. They flew there as a member of Team Singapore. Should there be further questions raised?

We plucked these relative unknowns from china and groomed them into world beaters. shouldn't that be worthy of the highest accolade known in the sporting arena today?

We have to admit that if we didn't do what we did - pluck these unknowns and groom them - we probably would still be unknowns in the sporting world. you see, what the singapore table tennis association has done is that they created the stepping stone for future success. Through this success at Beijing 2008, many of those youth who are currently in the Singapore Sports School have found out that, realising their dreams may not be impossible afterall. with this success, it provides a catalyst for emerging talents.

look at it in terms of football.

bring in foreign talent -> raise the standard of football -> youth train harder -> pushes the overall standard of football among youths higher -> break into 1st teams -> success

it may be a long and arduous process but we probably have to do this because singapore simply cannot compete with europe's superpowers or China. Singapore kids are brought up in a totally different environment from our foreign counterparts. we live and breathe results. not in sports, but in studies. in our academics. we all grow up with constant reminders from our parents that excellence in sports will not earn us a living when we grow up. furthermore, it IS a risky path to choose, similar to being an artist in singapore. we need to change the general thinking of singaporeans. this will probably materialise in 1 or 2 generations down the road.


the media can be a very misleading tool. the olympics has seen successes and failures. the media has highlighted the successes of michael phelps, of usain bolt, of China's gold medal haul and of the US basketball team. they have blown up the failures of the chinese sprinter liu xiang, the US sprint teams' dropping of the baton and roger federer's fall from grace. yes. these news are attention grabbing but we should sometimes slap ourselves in the faces and realise what is really going on in the world today.

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/beijing/track_field/news?slug=cr-somalirunners082408&prov=yhoo&type=lgns

Take a look at that article and u'll understand why.

and just fyi...

The Olympic Motto is 'Citius, altius, Fortius," a latin phrase meaning "Swifter, Highers, Stronger."
And the Olympic Creed is as such:

"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most improtant thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. the essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well."



yet, it becomes harder and harder, with every passing olympic games, to neglect the fact of the ever-growing commercialism which the holding of the games brings about.



oh wells. told you money really makes the world go round........ hur hur =(


Dwayne ||| 10:47 PM

+++++

Monday, August 25, 2008
I AM FUCKING FRUSTRATED
IT SEEMS NOTHING'S GOING RIGHT
IT SEEMS THAT I'M ALWAYS HAVING FINANCIAL PROBLEMS
I'M ALWAYS LOW ON CASH
MY MUM TAKES HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS OF CASH FROM ME
MY DAD DOESN'T WANNA GIVE ME A CENT
NS IS GIVING SUCH A FCUKING PAY
I'M TRYING TO DAMN BLOODY HARD TO SAVE
BUT EVERYTHING AROUND ME'S EFFING EXPENSIVE
I HAVENT GONE SHOPPING IN AGES
I'M ALWAYS WEARING THE SAME CLOTHES
I STILL HAVE TO BUY BIRTHDAY PRESENTS FOR PEOPLE
AND I'M ALWAYS SPENDING IN DEFICIT OF MY MONTHLY EFFING LOW PAY
I DONT EVEN PATRONISE THE VENDING MACHINE IN CAMP
I DONT EVEN GO AND PLAY DOTA ANYMORE
I DONT EVEN GO OUT DURING LIBERTIES
I STAY IN CAMP DURING EVERY LIBERTY LIKE SOME LOW-LIFE LONER
TO THINK THAT I CAN ACTUALLY EARN TRIPLE IF NOT AT LEAST DOUBLE MY CURRENT PAY DOESN'T REALLY CONSOLE ME
WTH IS WRONG MAN
YOU ASK ME TO GO THROUGH HELLISH TRAINING AND ALL I'M GETTING IS A MERE 700+ BUCKS
I DONT EVEN HAVE TO GO THROUGH ANY TRAINING AND I CAN EASILY FETCH 1.4K OUTSIDE.
WHERE'S THE FAIRNESS
AND NOW I'VE GOTTA PAY FOR SOMETHING THAT GOT BROKEN COS I FUCKING FELL DOWN.
WOW
CAN'T LIFE GET ANY BETTER

I SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT TO ORD
AT LEAST I KNOW I CAN EARN MUCH MORE
AT LEAST I DONT HAVE TO LIVE KNOWING THAT I HAVE TO SCRIMP AND SAVE EVERY SINGLE DOLLAR

FUCK. THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT MONEY
NO COINS NO NOTES NO NOTHING
EVERYTHING WORKS ON TRADE
FUCK THERE'D BE NO RICH POOR DIVIDE
BUT NO. WHO THE HELL INVENTED MONEY
ARGHHH.


Dwayne ||| 11:12 PM

+++++

Sunday, August 24, 2008
runNUS 10km 17082008

Tan Dwayne Aaron (00257)

Your timing is 0 hr 57 min 8 sec You rank 15th out of 217

__________________________________


Singapore Bay Run / Army Half Marathon

Tan Dwayne Aaron (8519)

timing is roughly 1 hr 55 min. ranking bout 200+. HAHAHA

__________________________________

there's pretty much nth going on in my life cept for running. as of today, i've unofficially clocked roughly 85km and there's still another 10km of the nike run to go. crap. my knees becoming very cui alr..

no more running for sept... i hope. =)


Dwayne ||| 1:58 PM

+++++

Saturday, July 26, 2008
Thrash talking? Or talking trash?

so thursday was supposed to have an exercise but due to the weather, it got cancelled in the end. we were conducting After Action Review when the 'excitement' all unfolded..

ok. basically, it all started when we graduated as divers. and the problem has escalated till the current situation where it seems that the cpls are waging a war with the 3rd sgts. and there seems to be mini wars within the cpls themselves.

i guess sometimes thrash talking (not trash) does have positive and negative effects. i would like to say that i believe there'd be more positive effects though.

here are the problems within the platoon:
1. slow to do work
2. think too much bout resting
3. think they are always doing too much
4. think others are not doing things
5. think 3rd sgts are doing nothing but ordering e cpls about
6. 3rd sgts thinking too much bout the welfare of the men.

'diver alr what. no more trainee. relax lar'
'eh dont chao geng lei. never do anything still kao pei'
'why everytime call me! got other people also what! everytime me!'
'wa lau why the others can rest den i got to do all these sai kang'
etc etc

after dive phase, everyone just decided to be selfish and self securing. it starts with the jokes actually. with the 'eh dont self secure lei!' and all that rubbish, it became a norm for everyone to just follow in those footsteps and to just self secure. myself am guilty as well. but this is malicious mutation has happened right before our very eyes and yet, we fail to acknowledge this problem. it has become a situation whereby only if you see everyone suffering together with you, as like in hellweek, that you accept that nobody's chao genging.

where's the selflessness that we saw so much of during hellweek. the constant encouragement. helping one another. the initiative and volunteerism when it comes to doing things? i guess we've all forgotten that, apart from a few individuals.

sometimes i just wish that everyone can just do things fast and then secure early. rather than having lots of rest in between and then securing late. hard for that to happen now.

the war between the 3rd sgts and cpls continues...
at times it seems that the 3rd sgts dun seem to be doing anything. but sometimes, we have to recognise the fact that what we dont see doesn't mean they aren't doing anything. they may be doing small tasks but its things like these that makes things happen. just like the small things required to make a successful film. perhaps its time we stopped targeting the 3rd sgts and start complying with their instructions. i'm sure they will only make us do what is good for us, nothing more, nothing less.

one five-zero said 'the platoon is too selfish for their own good'. i do not disagree with him. it might take a herculian effort to get everyone to start doing things the right way again. even if the thrash talking helped, it would only have a short term effect. and everything will probably revert back to how it was in like a week or so.

as i sat there, many things ran through my mind. but i guess whether the thrash talking works or not is really up to how the individual wishes to think. to some, may seem to be a wake up call. to others, may just seem to be trash talking. but ultimately what i really hope is for us to just do things efficiently and well. no friendships harmed whatsoever.

tolerance is an easy word. but it requires lots of character and steel.

27th batch. make it or break it, its up to us.


Dwayne ||| 10:56 PM

+++++


so i've watched the dark knight with jerome, doong and ronald.
didn't like the starting of the show though. i was falling in and outta sleep. its probably because i was too tired or cos it was too boring. probably a lil of both. haha

anyway. chanced upon this girl's facebook? vanessa anne vanderstraaten. and i still think she's hot. haa. just a random remark

artist of the week: secondhand serenade


Dwayne ||| 8:57 PM

+++++

Tuesday, July 22, 2008
ok. so let me tell you guys a joke

it starts with a bad morning

so my whole cabin woke up late and since it was live range day, it was even more serious.
anyhow, the pc was sleeping with us so we sorta have like 'backing' of some sort. haha
den me and ming long ended up taking the tonner just cos we were kind enough to fill up the coleman with ice water.

den came the tragic part. decided to sleep on the tonner lying on the bench with my leg leaning against the side of the tonner.
after some bumps here and there, my phone decided to take a trip to the bottomless pit they called 'the road'...
and then whatever happened after that i didn't know
but i gotta assume a car ran past it. hur hur - . -

tragic end.

but the day ended off with some fun with the 'not allowed to say that word' game and the word of the day was 'so'. lol
punishment: 10 push ups for every infringement.

poor ruiteck

oh. classic jerome:

jerome: yesterday.. all my troubles seemed so ___ away.

he actually chose the wrong word to censor out - . - dumbfuck. lol

oh and err.. happy birthday raymond chua chee huat =))




achievement of the day

ar15 shoot: 76/80


Dwayne ||| 7:34 PM

+++++

Monday, July 14, 2008
omg.
ok i just enquired bout tennis coaching from qing

$60/hr for up to 2 people

so if i decide to go solo:
$60 x 2hrs = $120
$120 x 4 times a month = $480!!!

omg.
this means i need to find a buddy
gotta ask that bangla james.
or.. anyone interested in learning tennis?!?!?!
cos the price will be halved if 2 are learning

help help..
someone learn with me please...


Dwayne ||| 6:14 PM

+++++





oh yea. and i finally managed to solve e rubiks cube

took me a long long while
cos got bored of trying after some time

up, in, up, in, down, in, down, in
down, out, up, out, down, out, out, up
up, up, in, down, down, in, in, up, up, in, down, down

so ne show 2 was boring
though there was a newcomer next to me.
that tan guo rong fella
so called quit air force cos his brothers (batch boys) were in ndu (ya. bullshit i tell u. HAHAHA)
he's so gonna kill me if he sees this. LOL
not too bad
but boring cos there were no babes in the stands!
all obasans

anyway we had a good time trying to alert this driver to turn on her headlights on the way back to camp.
yen hao went super high.
waving and all. turning on his hp light too
but the driver hiu lan him
haha. nice try yen
lol


Dwayne ||| 12:41 AM

+++++





oh btw. happy birthday to miss jasmine kylie low wee kie
to whom i forgot to wish cos i thought monday was 13th.
i even set the alarm to 2355 to get ready to sms
wth.
how anti climax
zzz


Dwayne ||| 12:34 AM

+++++





DWAYNE AARON TAN

STOP PROCRASTINATING


Dwayne ||| 12:29 AM

+++++

Sunday, July 13, 2008




Wroof! Looks like Foooood!!!

Dance for the food max!

Whoa... Shag out. WRooof!



haha. i love my dog =))


Dwayne ||| 9:21 PM

+++++


i saw this website on aloysius ng's facebook profile.
and thought some of the clothes there seemed not bad. haha

so... for the girls:

http://stalkthedots.livejournal.com/


Dwayne ||| 5:49 PM

+++++

Saturday, July 05, 2008
parade parade parade
first there was RSN Day, den there was SAF Day and next will be National Day.

anyhow, we have received good comments on the Navy Guard of Honour contingent during the SAF Day parade and seems like they'll be expecting the same standard during the NDP rehearsals and the actual performance itself.

SAF Day rehearsals were quite drag-ass. you could tell nobody wanted to perform at all during the rehearsals. NDP however seemed a different case. probably because we were exposed to the publics viewing, the seemingly sudden shot to stardom with the flashing cameras and applause and screams! oh well. we're all sluts anyway. wayang all the way

i seem to have this grudge on officers from tekong. there's such a high intake rate from there, it seems that any chapalang fella can get in and become a president commissioned officer. i wonder how the warrant officers take it. but i dont really have much respect for them. and to think some can't even get IPPT gold.... wow. leaders... uh huh...

oh one more thing.
all divers can be commandos. but not all commandos can be divers.




so i started on this small journey of self realisation and found out that i'm a very lazy person (well everyone tends to have this urge to laze around once awhile). and 'very' as in.. can't be bothered to do anything. i realized that i've quit halfway in almost everything that i do. includes piano, soccer and tennis. i procrastinate a lot and in the end, i never get things done. it gets quite fu*ked up when u think back and go 'shit. i was supposed to do that'. i still lack that level of maturity. the part about initiative.

i just browsed e net and found a site (http://youmustbethechange.com/default.html).
here's what it said:

"There is ultimately only one thing in this world that can change ourselves or the world we live in and that is initiative. In our travels we have been continually amazed by the acts of kindness that we have been beneficiaries of and have witnessed. To see others with little or no resources reach out to those with even less opportunity has been truly inspirational.

To think that we in the west often believe that only monetary efforts or large organisations can help others is a grave mistake. We all live in a world with 168 hours in a week, those of us who accomplish our goals only do so by taking the initiative to prioritize our time. Turn off the tv, start living your own dreams and take the time to help or talk to others. Dedicating just one hour a week of your time is a total of 52 hours a year. Decide what you love to do and how it can help others take the initative to live their dreams. In the process you will enable others with less resources to also achieve their goals while making the earth a more sustainable place."

that website hit me with those words like an egg to a stone. suddenly realized that its time i did something. for my own good and for the good of others.

i must be the change that i wanna see in myself.
stop procrastinating in everything that i want to do
stop being so superficial
stop being an ass
oh man. this is gonna be so hard...

Dear God, Please help me...






Dwayne ||| 12:27 AM

+++++

Friday, May 30, 2008
i desperately need to grow up!

heh. i'm acting too kiddy for my age.

anyway i'm looking for people who wanna take up tennis. den can go for coaching together. apparently its 50/hr but can b split if 2 people take together. that makes it 25/hr. anyone interested?

char lor ti said my swing sucks. she said i'm a noob at tennis. heh. tts y i'm desperately looking for a coach. LOL

anyway. guys, my big day is coming. that means goon squad. zzzz


Dwayne ||| 10:26 PM

+++++

Sunday, May 25, 2008
how to
CHANGE?!


Dwayne ||| 7:15 PM

+++++

Monday, May 19, 2008
i finally managed to get the pics from bw. haha. there was supposed to be more but dunno where. LOL



anyway. 2.4 hit a new record. 8:44. hur hur


Dwayne ||| 6:37 PM

+++++


i'm watching this now. but i just started watching so i'm still st season 1. den after that i'm gonna watch:





Dwayne ||| 3:31 PM

+++++


ok. sat night met up with dida, yuls, joycelyn, her fren and zs. met ani also but only for bout an hr. went down to chomp chomp for makan den to dempsey road for ben and jerry's and finally to thompson there for talk cock sing song.

it was kinda fun and enjoyable. nice to see them after so long. but the sad thing was since i was driving, couldn't drink. so we probably missed out on some drinking games and such. anyhows, talk cock sing song was quite pathetic. i'd rather go kbox. hahaha. wait 2 hrs for 2 songs! ahhh!!! and one can of soft drink for 8 friggin bucks! oh my gawd. haha. and to think clubbing in taiwan only costs 15 bucks

here are some pics. courtesy of zs' camera =)

that was in the car




Dwayne ||| 2:33 PM

+++++

Sunday, May 04, 2008
haha. here are some random pics. for more pics. please go to facebook.com and search for 'dwayne tan'

lol. the pics are all there. if you need explanations, just ask me. =)









Dwayne ||| 11:08 AM

+++++

"The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically...

Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education."

Dwayne ||| 11:02 AM

+++++

Monday, March 31, 2008

then the crossdress for miss ndu

Doesn't keith look sexy? (he.. i mean.. she's the one in green)

emcee: what do you enjoy doing?
keith: i like to shake my ass.
emcee: what?
keith: i like to shake my ass
emcee: err - . -"

emcee: so what's the secret to your beauty?
yuhao: well. as you can see. my secret is.. my boobs are so big i can't even see my number tag
*APPLAUSE PLEASE*

i see ya baby... shaking that ass.. shaking that ass

and the winner is.. *drumroll* MISS UDG, YUHAO! and he gets a wet smack on his face as his reward. haha

oh this is mabel. she's doing great! met up with her recently. heh. shud b meeting again before i leave taiwan! =))

and this is the game that i'm playing on my psp now. totally awesome movie sequences. graphics are a bomb. and its a totally new gameplay for the battle scenes. yup. its quite alright =)by the way i met shang and nanny bao in town last night for a drink. turned out to be really A drink though i wanted ta drink more. but oh well. above's the chopstick thingy that i was playing withthis is a glass of 'Exotica'. totally no effect and non-potent - . - bleh.
anyhow, nanny bao was trying to make me jealous by smooching with shang all the while.
how lame can! - . -
but shang was enjoying it.
right DaRliNgxXx??

THIS, MY DEAR FRIENDS, IS THE 4 FAIRIES, CONSISTING OF 4 VARIOUS ABSINTHES. OR WADEVA U CALL IT. TOP LAYER'S BLACK, DEN BROWN, DEN RED/ORANGE DEN GREEN. yea, supposed to be uber potent. like make you see stars all. available at the majestic bar. i didn't try it last time. but i had this:


me, cousin beng and e sis' bf

dont ask me why his mouth's open but thats the tower

and they set it ablaze.
ladies and gentlemen, presenting to you, the Flaming Ferrari. courtesy of majestic bar. haha

Dwayne ||| 9:12 AM

+++++

Sunday, March 23, 2008

so lately i've been hooked on this thing called naruto
and it's quite a nice show actually
i'm at episode 193 now and there's still another 27 episodes till shippuuden
was supposed to watch prince of tennis

but i guess i somehow forgot which episode i had watched till. haha

till next time i guess..

Dwayne ||| 6:12 PM

+++++

Wednesday, March 05, 2008
hmm. brunei trip's tmr and i guess i've got some stuff to talk about

marketing

well, can't talk much bout this actually. so those who wanna find out shud ask me. though i doubt anyone wud. hahaha

Selamat Mas Bin Kasturi

it's all over. the latest craze in town. no its not a toy, unfortunately. but one of the most wanted criminals actually escaped from a detention centre just behind cj, my previous school. firstly, someone's gonna get fired. secondly, spore's reputation's gonna go down. thirdly, citizens' safety gonna go down. fourthly, ns men affected by activations (hahah! err.. wad's activation? =X)

Brunei

so lately i've been buzzing around basically to buy stuff for my coming trip to brunei. Jungle Survival Training they call it. 11 days away from the comfort of home and camp. yes, in this case, i am referring to the comfort of camp since its considerably much more comfortable than staying in the jungle. basically learn how to get food, water, build shelter, survive. yea. crap


ok. judging from what i've just writen, seems like i've deviated from the effect that i was supposed to hav created instead. hahahha. anyhows. here goes..

went to visit my por por today.
thought since i was in e area, and since i was going brunei tmr, i might as well just drop by.
she isn't doing very well.
suffering from gout, hence the swell on her left leg
been going on for quite some time
sometimes going down once in a while does make me feel better
show a lil concern to the old folks shud make them feel alot better too
i dont really talk to them very often but i know for sure they care bout me and want me to become a successful person in life.
'take good care of yourself' 'dont eat too oily food' 'drink more water' 'dont stay out too late' 'be careful in whatever you do'
i guess these phrases shouldn't be foreign to anyone.
i've probably heard them many many times.
i know that its because they care.
but hearing the same thing over and over again does tend to b irritating at times.
my mum used to say 'say a little bit u make so much noise. other people's parents dont even care'
i disagree with that.
who wouldn't want their children to be good people. earn big bucks and hav a good reputation?
can't think of any
anyhow, i just wish my parents and grandparents will understand.
that whenever i grumble, its not because i find them a nag.
but because i know they care, and i dont want them to worry.

i guess its 'Family First, Everthing else Second' for me


well, going to brunei has affected me somewhat.
i mean. who wouldn't
11 days outta e country.
its not like ocip where u go there for non-training purposes.
its not like ocip where u go there to do fun stuff
its not like ocip where u get much more freedom
its TRAINING.
No Pain, No Gain.
i guess this is all part of becoming self-independent.
away from everyone dear.
frens to count on
and ur own survival instincts to rely on
i'm glad i've got a pretty good group to work with
Heng Yi and Guo Jie
two easy-to-get-along people who work when work needs to be done
i just hope we do a good job in brunei guys =)

11 days
10 nights
5th March
15th March

my flight touches down at 1005.
i guess the first thing i'll probably do is to give her a call
imagine 11 days without sms/calling/seeing
it'll be different and could b torturous.
but lets just say i'm dreading leaving e country
and will long to return once i'm there.
i'll definitely miss her
and i hope she will too =)


Please study hard :)
i know u can do it!


Dwayne ||| 11:52 AM

+++++



see me there one day..
its something that i definitely wanna conquer


Dwayne ||| 8:10 AM

+++++






Dwayne ||| 5:54 AM

+++++

Saturday, February 23, 2008
When i see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that i'm stronger i've figured out

How this world turns cold
And breaks through my soul
And i know, i'll find deep inside me
I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay

Seasons are changing and waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you, I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

'Cause you're my, you're my, my
My true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away

'Cause i'm here for you
Please dont walk away
And please tell me, you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And i know, i'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever






Title: Your Guardian Angel
Artist: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus


Dwayne ||| 5:01 PM

+++++

Monday, February 18, 2008
so vday wasn't as fruitless as i tot it'd b
at least she liked e bear e flowers and e card - i think =X

thx yulsie!

anyhow, chinese new year's ending in 4 days
and my ang pao haul is totally pathetic
how irritating

i clocked a new personal best for 2.4km - 8:47

i felt jumper was amateurish
cos it seemed like using ur hp camera to film a video, pause, ask e guy to get outta e frame and den continue recording - . -

i still wanna watch ah long pte ltd

aloysius said a hot girl was joining us for dinner
it was charlotte
she's small
and her eyes are scary

arsenal lost to manchester united
match was a total disaster
think booking in tonight will be the ultimate xianness one can ever get

mahjong session was kinda cock
yong lin ended up top earner with 14 bucks
daniel soh went bankrupt
and i came up with a non-existant game set (which ruined my chance of winning - . - )

ok. end of random posts
time to book in again. zzz


Dwayne ||| 11:13 AM

+++++

Sunday, February 10, 2008





ok those were jus a few pics that we took during cny
we didn't really take many pics anyway
was too lazy to camwhore

cny was super nuah
i've been nuahing at home everyday
DAMN XIAN
its like. ns saps all the energy that u would otherwise use to go bai nian
a.p was at an all time low
probably due to the growing fears of recession. oh well.
nvm. got money take can alr =)


Dwayne ||| 10:12 AM

+++++

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Backstreet Boys - Inconsolable

i dont wanna waste another day
keeping it inside its killing me

but what i tell myself each time was that the time wasn't right
perhaps its true

looks like valentine's day 2008's gonna be dateless again

Dwayne ||| 2:37 PM

+++++

Thursday, January 03, 2008







Dwayne ||| 10:30 PM

+++++

Tuesday, January 01, 2008



Dwayne ||| 8:52 PM

+++++


so its 2008
i didn't really welcome 2008 with the usual enthusiasm and vigour as of past years
cos 12 midnight would actually mean booking in in another 23hrs time

as i downed the glasses of alcohol
gin and dunno what thing tt shang ordered...
i decided to make a few new year resolutions

1. get a partner
2. hate porn
3. be nicer to frens
4. quit the 'fuck's, 'chee bai's and 'kan ne na's
5. save more money
6. make more frens

i hope i rmb my new year resolutions

we headed down to clarke quay just to send shang on his way to pang seh-ing us
den we headed back home


well i just found out from facebook that sheryl wee (same maths class in j2) was attached to darren ang (think aloy's class)
aww man. tt lucky guy.
she's quite hot actually. and she seems like a nice girl ;)


Dwayne ||| 8:38 PM

+++++

Sunday, December 30, 2007




Dwayne ||| 2:36 PM

+++++

Saturday, December 29, 2007
james, michelle, me
orchard road
michelle and i!



Dwayne ||| 3:30 PM

+++++

Friday, December 28, 2007
something's wrong with blogger
can't seem to upload pics
oh well
next time i guess =)

watched national treasure yesterday with camelia, kathy, daniel and ys. not too bad a show i guess
but the way ben gates brainstormed for leads was quite exaggerating coincidental
overall it wasn't too bad la
7 outta 10 i'd give.

oh oh
my tv went up in smoke!
i'm quite happy actually, though i shudn't be
ys was over at my place watching soccer den around 1+am my tv just shut off.
smoke emitting from the back of e tv.
STUNNED
well at least i was spared the torment of watching the arsenal portsmouth match which ended in a 0-0 draw.
damn.

went for soccer today
and met up with yunqi, yeefeng and xuan wei at night
damn nice to see them again.
missed all of them so much
walking around window shopping and all

tmr out with michy and hobbit! oh. forgot bout jumzd. HAHAHA =X
hope it'll b fun.
havent met them in ages too


i needa change this blogskin










i think we both know that feelings are mutual
but perhaps we both seem to be refusing to accept it
we'll see how it goes i guess


Dwayne ||| 5:28 PM

+++++

Wednesday, December 26, 2007
GEMINI - The Twin

Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners Very Good at confusing people... Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Gemini's will not take any crap from anyone. Gemini's like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Gemini's can be very sarcastic and childish at times, and are very nosey.
Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE. 9 years of bad luck if you do not forward.


hur hur.
i heard aries' are good matches for geminis
any aries out there?
HAHA =X

btw, merry xmas everyone =)


Dwayne ||| 5:40 PM

+++++

Sunday, December 23, 2007
i'm home
the torment of 8 months has passed
and a further 14 months to go


perhaps the pass 8 months havent been all that tough after all
but i guess i'm saying this just because i've already been through it all


it was tough
there was a time when i wanted to quit
chao geng all the way
end up as rp or something else apart from being a diver

but at the end of the day,
i'm still standing here
diver's badge upon my chest


Ego
a very dangerous and poisonous word
yet, it helped me to where i am today
the thought of disappointment, disgrace and personal pride was too great


a look back at what we've been through - the 27th batch combat divers


BMT
the days of staff neo, instructor kerk and staff lee
taking a look at the 28th batch
it seems easy to gain the perception that their life is much better than what ours was
but credit to them,
they seemed much more fired up than we were during bmt
live range, field camp, route marches
now all just a thing of the past

PCP
and then we were geared up for hellweek
more strenuous 'evolutions' came in
boat pt, sea circuit, sea swim, boat paddling, 6km, drownproofing
fitness levels peaked
fatigue set in
but i guess we got more and more fired up for hellweek

HELLWEEK
shan't elaborate much
just ask around
just know that its 5 x 24 hours of physical exercise with minimal rest
we did lotsa retarded things though
what with the lao da, ah xiao, nipples and all
but i guess it provided us with some sort of entertainment

DIVE PHASE
brand new rank
brand new set of instructors
this time, meaner
scuba phase, followed by O2 phase
it became a very monotonous lifestyle during the divephase
it wouldn't be surprising to ask around and hear people telling u they feel demoralised
whacking sessions were not rare
but diving standards went up
why?
cos they pushed up the target set for our minimum diving time
nonetheless, it was interesting at times.
SAF yatch club area has some nice corals and aquamarine life as i saw when i missed my target during the navigation swim (haha! =X)
jellyfish sting scar still on my hand
the sting wasnt a very nice sensation by the way

LAND PHASE
corporals
maxed out our possible rank promotion
this phase learnt more IFC
learnt navex
and for the first time in my life, i stepped foot into tekong
oh well, outfields were a chore anyway
but not as bad as dive phase i shud say
overall it was quite alright

now?
block leave!
enjoying while i still can
btw, forgive me if i havent gotten u a present
been totally brainfucked bout what to get as gifts
oh well
i'm off to bed =)


Dwayne ||| 6:36 PM

+++++

Monday, November 12, 2007






Dwayne ||| 11:08 AM

+++++

Friday, November 09, 2007

haa cute huh? got him last sunday

very active. heh. =)

book in time! =(

Dwayne ||| 12:52 PM

+++++

Monday, October 29, 2007
life's pretty much the same
i can't say much cos there really isn't much to say
diving everyday
i've finally passed every evolution
all that's left is just 1 more sea swim to pass
but even i have to admit that passing the second time wont be easy

ops awkward week is here
24hrs of diving for bout 4 days
i wonder whether we'll get a day off when it's over
nevertheless, it seems that judging from the amount of dive time we already have, the instructors will still have plenty of time to plan for our dives even if they see the need to goon us
they seem contented to goon us for the tiniest of reasons
oh the absurdity
oh the ridiculousness
i can't comment much or i might end up in a court

whatever it is, i guess we only have bout 1month half before we can finally slacken down
and i seriously can't wait
no, its not two weeks before we can slacken (graduation)
its 1 month half cos of bloody land phase











i need a break.....
badly.......


Dwayne ||| 10:31 AM

+++++

Monday, October 08, 2007









Dwayne ||| 9:35 AM

+++++

Monday, September 24, 2007
i've got my jeans, i've got my choker
i'm a happy guy =))

i got another singlet and another polo tee and a belt.
so in total i spent about 100 for all
not bad la.
the jeans and the singlet making up the bulk of the amount

anyway, there was this girl at heeren that day
smokin hot
too bad....
pj and zs neva help me recce properly
bleh

i wonder who shall i go out with next week
perhaps longs. haha =)
i still wanna buy more clothes
thinking of getting a plain white shirt next and maybe a few more belts
oh and another type of choker too.
oh well
shopping spree i guess =)



happy birthday daddy


Dwayne ||| 8:39 AM

+++++

Sunday, September 16, 2007
haa
this week managed to clear two evolutions
6km timed run and sea circuit with timings of 24:46 and 16:59 respectively
quite relieved to hear that i wont have to do them again
however, failed to beat clement at 6km and beat xian wei/tat at sea circuit
oh well
i'm satisfied =)
now i'm just left with IPPT SBJ and Sea swim
bearing in mind that the latter is almost impossible for me to pass
bleh

anyway
its been a good week
not much goon though there was only 1 wet and sandy
but it was quite a pleasant week
we've started out on our sea dives
and its quite... dirty actually
sick
but it was ok




i found out u were a liar
church? naa
maybe just an excuse
oh well
maybe next time




i need a choker
i need jeans




and i'm still considering whether to sign on for the air force
any suggestions?


Dwayne ||| 12:06 PM

+++++

Wednesday, September 05, 2007
So i'm home now
cos i booked out to take my driving test
and what happened?
FAILED
cos of the stupid mistake on my part
and also cos the tester was quite fucked up
he chose to be cold
to be evil
to be fierce
like wad for lor

den circuit still ok
go on the road..
went to u turn when there was no sign cos i kan chiong spider
FUCK
IMMEDIATE FAIL
i realized i shudn't have turned into the lane den asked him
can i turn right instead of u turn.
neva ans
den i heck care jus u turn. den immediate fail liao
RAHhhh
den other stupid things like lane changing he say i neva check rear mirror
WTF. i obviously checked just that i neva tilt my head.
@!%^#*^%# my eyes moved OKAY!
RAHhhh ANGRY DU LAN PISSED
zzzz

later book in still gotta tell people i failed. zzz
no face liao
bleh


Dwayne ||| 7:49 AM

+++++

Monday, August 20, 2007
yea man.
so hellweek is over
started on saturday night and ended on thurs morning
breakout was the most chaotic. haa but it was quite fun

hellweek was exhausting
especially when it came to fighting against sleepyness
the need to overcome the pain from foot rot
but we did it

we got to see different sides of people during hellweek
some funny, some irritating, some... stunning. haha

anyhow, i'd just like to say some things to the people in my boat
you guys are a great bunch
you neva gave up
even though i was an idiot during humping
i know you guys still forgave me
we did well together boat 7!


Dwayne ||| 10:04 AM

+++++

Friday, August 10, 2007
hmm..
lets see. block leave was not very eventful
mainly cos my frens were all still in camp
even then, block leave flew past so fast and that damn mercilessly
sweeping everything in its path

yesterday went sentosa with some platoon 1 guys.
was quite.. fun.. though we were in the sea for most of the time
now i'm even more chao tar den i alr was

anyhow, i suddenly lost the mood to type what i've been doin the past few days
starting to feel emo now that its almost time to book in once again

i guess hellweek's either gonna start on saturday morning(12am) or sunday morning(12am). the signs are all there though the instructors seem to be trying to play around with our minds
i've finally reached the stage where its make or break for me. the part where its do or die. diver or loser.

i'm scared of hellweek
but i can't wait for it too
i'm just filled with the urged to feel that sense of satisfaction once hellweek is over
i guess i just GOT TO PULL THROUGH!

people! please meet me after hellweek PLEASE!
haha. now i'm supposed to meet safy and elena. maybe throw in michy as well. =X
probably aloy?
yeap

HELLWEEK HERE I COME
I'LL CONQUER YOU LIKE YOU'RE A PIECE OF CAKE
LIKE I'VE BEEN DOIN IT ALL ALONG
LIKE ITS JUST PART OF MY DAILY ROUTINE
YOU WILL BE NO KICK FOR ME
YOU WILL EXPERIENCE MY FURY
MY FIRE
MY SPIRIT
ALL HELL SHALL EXTINGUISH
AND MY LIGHT SHALL BE THE SOLE SOURCE OF LIFE IN THAT FORSAKEN PLACE
TAKE ME THERE.....


Dwayne ||| 2:27 PM

+++++

Tuesday, August 07, 2007
i dunno where this picture originated from but i found it in eng kiat's friendster account so i just kope-ed it. haha
yup. there it is.
The Naval Diving Unit 27th Batch, Combat Diving Course
thats where i am now.

currently on block leave and booking in on friday morning.
from then onwards, i'll be taking a trip down to hell for a week before resurfacing back to earth
a.k.a HELLWEEK
ok. so i managed to get clearance from the MO albeit a lil bit of persuasion
but anyhow, i'm cleared and am scared and excited about hellweek
block leave's ticking away and i'm not exercising to keep my fitness level there
i guess i might probably suffer during hellweek. OH WELL
LIFE'S A MISERY. ZZzzz


Dwayne ||| 1:16 PM

+++++

Sunday, July 29, 2007
alright so i've been pretty busy this weekend
with driving, with going out. i didn't even have the time to rest
i'm very tired now
hope i get early lights out tonight
haa. oh ya. safy, i'll try to meet up with you soon. haa. a bit the busy

so this past week has been quite ok
studying demolition and all
and i was happy to be studying!
i wanna study
i SO MISS studying
RAHHHhhh
den passed the test...
hope there's more stuff to study

booking out on tues for specialist appointment
hope my back problem's not so serious
really wanna go through hellweek man
xian ji pua
den dunno if the following week will hav mon/tues/wed off (national day week)
cos right after national day wud be hellweek alr.
rahh. can't wait! =)

oh. i bought psp also. haha happy! =)
catch up another time. adios


Dwayne ||| 10:06 PM

+++++

Monday, July 23, 2007
hmm..
actually i've started to get into the training once again.
though i still havent met timings for sea swim and sea circuit but i hope i can achieve the targets this coming week
the past week was quite slack actually. only monday - wednesday was intense
with hellday and all.
den thursday and friday was jus slacking time
i think i'm starting to be proud of being in ndu
its probably because of my ego
yea. and its not like i'm proud that my ego's that darn big
but oh well

finally got myself a psp
spent quite a bit on it but hopefully will be able to bring to camp
driving test's in a month's time
don't think i'll have the time to complete my last 6 lessons lei.
with hellweek coming up and all and with only 4 weekends to use...
dont think will hav enough time. darn it. >.<






i'm happy when i book out early! =)


Dwayne ||| 9:21 AM

+++++

Monday, July 16, 2007
to all:

i'm alive
my back still hurts
i'm struggling to get my fitness back
i'm struggling to pass sea circuit and sea swim
i struggled to pass drown proving
i'll struggle to pass 6m underwater knot tying
i'm xian of looking at the approaching week and telling myself there's more training to come
i'm scared of hell day
i'm even more scared of hell week
i need frens to talk to
frens whom i havent talked to in a long time
actually, i just need time off to meet all my frens.. hai.. =(
and time is something i dont have


to all my frens
i'll try and find time to meet u all
i'm sorry if i had to cancel appts at times or rearrange timings
but i'm really tired
my body needs to rest too.
hope u all understand. =)


Dwayne ||| 9:10 AM

+++++

Monday, July 02, 2007
another week of cdc has passed.
yet i've grown weaker
i reported my back problem to the medical officer and ended up with 4 days attend b
so for 4 whole days, was just sitting around watching the others train while at the same time doing saigang
my back didn't improve though
it still hurts
2 others from p2 also had back problems
apparently if we dont catch up with training, we'll get out of course.

the whole thing bout getting out of course has gotten my mental very weak
truth to be said, i actually cried on monday and friday in ndu itself
the first being on monday when i was at the medical centre
its like.. i was so lost and confused.
didn't know what i wanted to be.
diver or rp/medic
i know that its for my fucking ego that i'm sucking it up to become a diver
yet, trainings so tough.
i just sat in the toilet.. helpless. confused.

friday was a case of mental stress
guess i was out on attend b for too long
so when i did boat pt, had no strength, felt useless and mental gave way a lil
thoughts like 'why am i going through this shit?' just floated in my mind
i really wonder if i can make it through

so i went to sgh to get my back checked on.
apparently the doc thinks its back strain
but because i told him it hurts when i cough/sneeze, he suspects it could also be slip disc
he referred me to a bone specialist though
i guess what i really want at this point in time is to get my back well again
once thats done, den i'll look forward to continuing with training i guess

but even if i dont get out of course due to my back problem
i have this feeling that i will anyhow cos of my ability in the water
i still can't frigging get through drown proving

fuck i hate this feeling of helplessness


Dwayne ||| 7:56 AM

+++++

Monday, June 25, 2007
here it goes again.
sunday night is here once more
emotional tides come crashing in
the thought of more training
more pt
no rest
no girls
*faint*

haha.

as if booking in wasn't bad enuff, aloy just had to tell me he saw HER last night at vivo
hai

first week was not as bad as we all thought it was.
but i guess my prediction was half correct regarding the 'whole lot drop' after pop
lots of time in the pool has made me very black
perhaps now maybe anirudh might think i'm his long lost brother

booking out is like such a short time.
there's no time for recovery
i'm recovering from a back injury i sustained during the course of the week
went to see this sinseh that yen hao recommended
now i have circles behind my back
anyhow, it still hurts but its much better now

didn't manage to meet mabel in the end.
was supposed to tennis and go swimming with her but she didn't reply my msg. =(




the real reason why i get emotional when i book in?













give me back my civilian life...
that carefree life
the freedom
the time
i miss them all
i can't wait to ORD..
hai..


Dwayne ||| 9:14 AM

+++++

Sunday, June 17, 2007
i wanna be a diver
i dont wanna undergo the training

i wanna be in the air force
but i have to be a diver first

i wanna sign on as an air force pilot
but i hate military life

i know what i want
but i dont want the processes involved.



another week has passed. monday's POP.
for those i-know-nothing-bout-army people, it stands for Passing Out Parade.
and not the pop in 'pop goes the weasel'
no block leave, no rest
we'll head straight for an 'introductory lesson' on the next phase
and boy i sure know what it'll involve

more late nights and early mornings
more hammering sessions
more swimming sessions
more running
more physical activities
and then
6 more weeks and hellweek will arrive

thats what intimidates me
thats what makes me think of getting out of course
the fact that i'm not proficient in water just urges me to do so even more
people wanna OOC as well but some dont have the balls to admit
the thought of drown proving just makes me think that i'll prove to them i can drown

i wonder why my ns life is so tough


anyway, i really need to make plans for my weekends.
i need to have fun
friday night and yesterday has just been a nuah-ing session at home
and it could be the same for today.
yesterday met aloy, zhu ba and faye at macs. saw 'xing xing' there but apparently she changed her name to 'jac'
me and aloy den went down to q bistro for pool.
quite shiok.


prata session after that, he thinks that i'll become a diver eventually
look at the end effect and it'll alleviate my xianess when i think bout training.
but its not easy to do that.
its easy to neglect whats to be gained when u look at the difficult task in front of u
and its a difficult task thats not at your advantage.
if given the chance,
i'd rather be in commandos than in the navy
at least i can train on my forte terrain: land


army songs tend to have that temporary effect of highness
the effect that makes u wanna carry on
but we all know its bullshit
the lyrics of the song just tries to brainwash us
to hypnotise us into this huge facade
do you really think NS can defend the country?
look what US did to hiroshima. can't the same be said about Singapore?
how long can we hold out
we'll still lose in the end.
it'll just be a question of whether it'll be a short or long battle

Still, i'm thinking of getting out of course
but i guess i'll hold on for a lil while longer
till my body hits its maximum in water before i finally throw in the white towel
somehow, i have a feeling that i'll hold out all the way till 6 months later
though i really dont want to


the friends i miss hanging out with:
vinson : daniel : julian : gerald : pj : ani : jolyn : yuling : candida : faye : safy : zhisheng : james : aloysius : cornelius : william : aloy : leslie : elena : michelle : terence : vanessa : hweehwee : jaja : tze rong

many more whom i can't think up of now. hopefully i'll be able to meet up with them soon =)


oh. anyone staying in kovan melody? BADLY WANNA MAKE FRIENDS WITH PEOPLE AROUND MY AREA AND THOSE IN KOVAN MELODY! =) drop me a tag!


Dwayne ||| 6:29 PM

+++++

Monday, June 04, 2007
i fucking hate booking in




cos i know that i'll still be thinking bout her






and i can't help it







she probably doesn't even know



but its making me feel miserable






nothing's happened so far




that's why i'm lost



i'm in a dilemma



i hope somebody can guide me now...


Dwayne ||| 9:22 AM

+++++

Sunday, June 03, 2007
Happy birthday to me
happy birthday to me
happy birthday to meeeeee!
happy birthday to me! =)

alright its been a long time since i last updated. basically been confined for a weekend cos of field camp.

field camp was fine.
it was mostly dry
there were lots of rest time
there were lots of stealing of weapons
lots of sentry duties
and lots of contact drills which i thought was kinda retarded

but so far i'm still doing good. still having the bmt cough. flu's gone.

birthday was a very low key affair. not many classmates remembered. oh well. doesn't matter =)

went for a facial.

went town watched shrek. yesterday watched pirates. next week watching spiderman and maybe silver surfer. haa. i wanna play more pool














wud it still be wise to hold on?


Dwayne ||| 3:23 PM

+++++

Saturday, May 12, 2007
some records broken this week:

1) Least number of sleep so far: 3hrs 15 mins on monday night
2) 2.4Km personal best: 9:13
3) 1st book out on Friday
4) Canadian Bull shooting projectile grouping size: 4.8cm

i think more records will be shattered soon. haha

my back's aching like shit. i need to go find a masseuse to get it away. my thumb is 'spoilt' cos i leant to much support on it during my shuttle run. my last finger still hurts. think i dislocated it from before enlistment. my knees hurt when i try to stand after sitting crosslegged for too long. air force still havent called me. a bad cough virus is spreading through camp like a raging bushfire. i still think of her alot. weekends are so unfulfilling.




Artist: Usher Ft Alicia Keys
Title: My Boo

There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You'll never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo

I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock

Do you remember girl
I was the one who gave you your first kiss
Cause I remember girl
I was the one who said put your lips like this
Even before all the fame and
People screaming your name
Girl I was there when you were my baby

It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man in my life
You will always be my boo

Yes I remember boy
Cause after we kissed
I could only think about your lips
Yes I remember boy
The moment I knew you were the one I could spend my life with
Even before all the fame
And people screaming your name
I was there and you were my baby

It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to timeI still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man in my life
You will always be my boo

My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock


Dwayne ||| 10:46 PM

+++++

Wednesday, May 02, 2007
i've received offers from NUS and NTU for Mechanical Engineering. i wonder if NTU would hav given me Aerospace Engineering if i put that as my first choice. oh well, can't really turn back now can i? unless i give up this chance now and wait for next year's application but it'll sound stupid. haa

so i booked out on saturday, booked in on sunday night, booked out on monday night and now booking in again tonight. sounds retarded huh? they shud jus giv us a block leave of 4 days or something. so retarded to book in and out now and then.

slept at 2230 on sunday night and woke up on monday morning at 0400 for SOC. did it with our helmets on. quite energy sapping sia. think i'll die if i put on my SBO. ZzzZZzz. but i guess we'll be going to the live firing range next week - i hope. haha. sounds fun to me. wanna be a marksman =)

labour day, stayed home the whole day doing nothing.
misses her alot
yet the situation hasn't changed.



Artiste: James Blunt
Title: Tears and Rain

How I wish I could surrender my soul
Shed the clothes that become my skin
See the liar that burns within my needing.

How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same:
it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.

How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away;
find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

Tears and Rain.
Tears and Rain.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

Dwayne ||| 9:27 AM

+++++

Sunday, April 22, 2007
Well. this is what ndu is like:

the 10m pool was VERY INTIMIDATING
the beds were 8centimetres of sponge
the instructors can be crazy at one time and nice the other
the food is good
the people are nice *cept for the few bastards*
1st week got all our bodies aching but they said that training so far was jus the beginning *faint*
we need to do at least 12 pull ups and run at least 9.15 for 2.4 to get NDU IPPT gold. *faint again*
it was a good experience but i still hope air force can rescue me after 9 months. zzz




Training to be soldiers
Fight for our land
For once in our life
2 years of hard time
have you ever wondered
why do we serve
becos we love our country
and we want it to be free to be free hia!

looking all around us
people everywhere
children having fun
while we are holding guns
have you ever wondered
why do we serve
becos we love our country
and we want it to be free to be free hia!



i dont want to be a naval diver
but i guess for now i dun hav a choice
no turning back
no fork in the road
looks like i can only go all the way..



oh and there weren't any calls or msges.
i'm sad. =(
hai...
stupid army jus had to spoil everything.
never mind
i'm still determined!
somehow someday, it'll happen!
HIA!


Dwayne ||| 1:34 PM

+++++

Thursday, April 12, 2007
hmm. my days as a civilian are numbered. well actually tmr's my last day as a civilian
hur hur. how sad huh?
but well its bout time.
been rotting away at home doing nth.
sometimes playing game, sometimes watching anime.

i've done what i wanted
i've done what i needed
the rest.. we'll see. haha


well friday comes nearer and i'm not really that nervous
but more of like..
i feel this sense of.. sadness? not sure what's the right word
anyhow, i'll feel sad definitely
leaving my frens, family and loved ones behind.
haa. sounds like i'm leaving this world huh? but CHOY. touch wood
but yea, i'll miss some people. =(

ns has made it difficult
but not impossible
i'll try my best








Artiste: elton john
title: your song

its a little bit funny this feeling inside
i'm not one of those who can easily hide
i dont have much money but boy if i did
i'd buy a big house where we both could live

if i was a sculptor, but then again, no
or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
i know its not much but its the best i can do
my gift is my song and this one's for you
and you can tell everybody this is your songit may be quite simple but now that it's donei hope you don't mindi hope you dont mind that i put down in wordshow wonderful life is while you're in the world

i sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
well a few of the verses well they've got me quite cross
well the sun's been quite kind while i wrote this song
its for people like you that keep it turned on

so excuse me forgetting but these things i do
you see i've forgotten if they're green or they're blue
anyway the thing is what i really mean
yours are the sweetest eyes i've ever seen


Dwayne ||| 1:05 PM

+++++

Monday, April 09, 2007
hmm. a happy birthday to Safy and Dida. haa

anyway. been doing pretty much nth again recently.
yesterday played bball with yl, ys, zb.
den played dota for the first time in my life. haha
and i gotta admit its addictive.
now i know y people keep dota-ing

oh well.

i finally did wad i had been wanting to do for 2 months.
got it off my chest
b4 i enter ns.
not givin' up
somehow, something will make it happen










artiste: Lifehouse
title: Blind

i was young but i wasn't naive
i watch helpless as you turned around to leave
and still i have the pain i have to carry
a past so deep
that even you could not bury if you tried

after all this time
i never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but i couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that i loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when i let you go

i would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like it was before
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

after all this time
i never thought we'd be here
never thoguht we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but i couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that i loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when i let you go

after all this while
would you ever wanna leave it
maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you is blind
but i couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that i loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when i let you go
and i loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when i let you go


Dwayne ||| 11:44 AM

+++++

Monday, April 02, 2007
Today's palm sunday.

i was very moved by the gospel today.
the passion of Christ.
how he died for us
to save man
how he endured the mockery
how he endured the torture
how his disciple abandoned him
how his other disciple betrayed him
yet, he forgave.

though i've heard this gospel many times
it seems like i was especially touched today.
hai. so sad. =(



nth much going on recently lar. went out with pam and reg yest
walked alot
window shopped alot
bought nothing
KIV-ed alot
my company hasn't paid me my salary.



next week's gym+swimming week
need to get my muscles and fitness back in shape
damn the cough
i need the fitness.
darn air force
still haven't called me.
zzz


anyone wanna go out next week? haha =)


Dwayne ||| 6:41 AM

+++++

Monday, March 26, 2007
i need to talk to gerald now. but unfortunately guess he shud b asleep.
reporting to unit tmr. hai..
can't even confide in my buddy.

there are somethings that i just can't type here and sometimes it sucks

after class outing, i feel emo.
yet the only person who knows why is yee feng.

and then this song comes playing repeatedly in my head:

Artiste: Boyzone
Title: love me for a reason

girl when you hold me
how you control me
you bend and you fold me
any way you please

it must be easy for you
to love the things that you do
but just a pastime for you
i could never be

and i never know, girl
if i should stay or go
cos the games that you play
are driving me away

dont love me for fun girl
let me be the one girl
love me for a reason
let the reason be love
dont love me for fun girl
let me be the one girl
love me for a reason
let the reason be love

Kisses and caresses
Are only minor tests, babe
Of love turned to stresses
Between a woman and a man

So if love everlasting
Isn't what you're asking
I'll have to pass, girl
I'm proud to take a stand

I can't continue guessing
Because it's only messing
With my pride, and my mind
So write down this time to time

Don't love me for fun, girl
Let me be the one, girl
Love me for a reason
Let the reason be love
Don't love me for fun, girl
Let me be the one, girl
Love me for a reason
Let the reason be love

I'm just a little old-fashioned
It takes more than a physical attraction
My initial reaction is
Honey give me a love
Not a fascimile of

Don't love me for fun, girl
Let me be the one, girl
Love me for a reason
Let the reason be love
Don't love me for fun, girl
Let me be the one, girl
Love me for a reason
Let the reason be love


Dwayne ||| 3:44 PM

+++++

Sunday, March 25, 2007
hello to all! haha. i apologise for the really long absence from blogging but everytime i log into blogger, i just somehow feel lazy to blog. haha

anyway, for those who are still wondering what i got for A levels.. its nothing good nor anything bad but it turned out as pretty much what i predicted. or shud i say. turned out EXACTLY as i predicted.

Maths: A
Physics: C
Econs: D

GP: A2

haha. i wasn't really expecting GP to get an A2. though i was definitely aiming for an A1, but i never expected to hit an A2 so easily considering what all the seniors and teachers have been saying bout how difficult it is to get a distinction for GP and all. aiya, bullshit la. i dont even read newspapers for Christ's sake!

anyway, yea, went for the NTU/NUS/SMU open houses. NTU and NUS were much more appealing than SMU though i have to admit that the SMU infrastructure is really impressive. YET, i'm not interested in anything that is offered at SMU. my first choice remains Mechanical engineering den probably materials science and engineering. oh well we'll see how it goes.

i just finished my application for NUS and NTU actually. and i'm gonna apply for scholarship! though i dunno how the hell i'll be able to get it but HECK LAR. no harm trying. maybe the person cock eye.. see my ACD A2 as AAC A2. HAHAHHA! (yar right. dream on, asshole)

anyway, went out with regina and pamela recently. both look pretty much the same. ok la. giv them some credit. they look much better than during 1st 3 months. haha. man i miss the times. we didn't take any pictures though. except one. but that was without pam knowing. HAHAH =X going out with them on saturday again! =) those two are super funny when they're together. haha. i can't help but follow and laugh. hahaha

yea. anyway, i've been working at this shipping company and for confidentiality's sake (or if u manage to find the info elsewhere.. *hint hint! friendster! =X*) i shall not declare the name of the company. however, i've been getting bout 8/hr doing some brainless job. its super boring and taxing on the eyes. but oh well. good money! and i need as much money as i can get! haha

den i've been playing quite alot at the cage at kallang recently. damn shiok especially the one on wednesday (this week). nearly scored from a half-diving header la! suay... perfect cross from poot. who ponned school as usual. HAHAHA. but anyhow, managed to score 2 goals. =)

met up with joycelyn, yulsie, alex, zs, faye and james at kbox on tuesday also. had fun la. singing and all. and alex was even so kind as to give us all a treat! haha. i swear it must have snowed sometime during the day in singapore. hahaha.

oh! thurs night. out with yee feng, larpai and xw. boon and yun qi pang seh-ed. bleh. but it was a fun night! we talked at thai express before going on a river taxi along the singapore river. damn fun la. took a few pictures with my integrated camera in my phone becos NO ONE REMEMBERED TO BRING A CAMERA! den we were having some fuss bout larpai's 1.80 umbrella which she borrowed from Diner's club. haha. AND SHE HAD TO MAKE ME CARRY IT FOR HER! imagine how weird i'd look la! i was wearing my office attire summore lor! and she still dare to say: eh, nvm what. MATCHES YOUR SHIRT(YELLOW)! like WTH!! haha. nvm la. fun night. i enjoyed myself babes =) yun qi and boon's loss for not appearing. =)

friday out with gerald. went for dinner at suntec, sent peninsular look at his shoes, went to raffles city and bought his new puma shoes for 95 bucks. not too bad la. den met hoe guan and we chilled out at starbucks till around 11. haha. did alot of catching up. and found out that Qing yi, someone whom i tried to chase but failed miserably, has turned to smoking. WTH. so wasted lar. zzz. luckily i failed. hahaha!

today! met corny, aloy ng and leslie for bball. aloy chua that bastard pangsehed us. so we played without him. aloy ng seemed very lucky cos he kept hitting the frame of the board instead of chopping the ball into the net from the 3 point line. haha. den we headed home to change and rest up before going out again. played a lil pool before heading for a movie (pathfinder) at the new cathay. oh and along the way there was this demented lady who started scolding leslie:

eh! 5 dollars! *we walked right past her* OI! YOUR MOTHER PROSTITUTE AR. I FUCK YOUR MOTHER PROSTITUTE! 5 DOLLARS! YOU FUCKING BASTARD! SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!

HAHAHHAHA! IT WAS SUPER HILARIOUS. corn was waiting for her to touch him so that he can turn around and find a reason to beat her up. lol. and the demented lady was short! old! ugly! and not forgetting those typical old people type of glasses! ie the ones with the super thick lenses. ARGHHH DAMN DISGUSTING LAR! hahaha! but hilarious anyhow. =)

pathfinder was not too bad lar. but i think perhaps its not as good as 300. which was definitely not as good as lord of the rings. haha. so probably 3 outta 5 for pathfinder. =) corn was complaining after the show that it was fucked up. said it was a waste of money and all. haha. shuddup la. LOL =X it wasn't too bad dude =)

tmr will be out again. meeting gerald/yl they all in the afternoon before meeting up with the class peeps at 6pm orchard. dunno do what.

ok lar. enuff lar. there's something wrong wtih the uploading of the pics so i'll jus put them here the next time. i'm tired and wanna sleep alr. 2.30 am know! bye!

=)


Dwayne ||| 5:38 PM

+++++

Friday, March 02, 2007
ok so the results are out tmr and i'm slightly apprehensive bout the grades i'll be getting.
doubt it'll be anything too good but nevertheless hoping for the best.
what else can i do when everything has already been done?

so i spent yesterday out with terence. went to watch epic movie against my sister's opinion that it wasn't worth the money. anyhow, it was a very spastic show. very lame and seriously not worth the money. well, unless of course you're a VERY TICKLISH person than it'll probably be worth it. =)

met up with jeremiah and celina for dinner at LJS. chatted up a lil bout A's, bout working, bout everything. den we split - wah and i went to find Dawn and miah and celina went to dunno where. haha.


DAWN was at Ben n Jerry's. a VERY OVERRATED place to tell you the truth. i personally didn't think it was as good as Island Creamery's.
she was busy.
oh and her colleague.. CHERYL? haha. looking rather pretty too ;)
anyhow, wah and i shared a belgian waffle before going to this place at 'singapore shopping centre'.
anyone knows where's that?
next to glass house but apparently i've never stepped in there despite its glamour name
went up to FUNKY BALLS for a couple of games of pool again where we met up with xin lin. i think.
she was dressed very funkily but overall not too bad. ;)





den off to home.
CAUGHT SPIDERMAN 2 ON AXN! couldn't believe my luck! haha!
i still think spiderman has this COOL bout him which is especially emphasized on their movies.
just a moment ago caught the spiderman 3 trailer and it looks like a definite must-watch.





here are some pics:

new look tobey maguire

fighting the battle from within

emo-spidey

kirsten dunst is HOT. she's gonna be my girlfriend. =)


Dwayne ||| 3:32 PM

+++++

Wednesday, February 28, 2007
hmm...

a friend is like a good Bra
hard to find
supportive
comfortable
always lifts you up
never lets you down or leaves you hanging
and is always close to your heart



hmm....
how come i dont feel anything? =\


Dwayne ||| 10:18 AM

+++++

Tuesday, February 27, 2007
ok. today was the first eventful day in the past... 1-2 weeks.
went to hougang plaza to play pool with julian.
apparently training with the 'National team'

well i started badly of course. wasn't quite used to the 9 feet tables.
den after a lil warming up (was getting owned by julian. i won games because he hit the black ball in the wrong pockets) julian suggested a race to 5 challenge. kekekek

guess who won?
5-2
TO ME. BWA HAHHAA
hmm... can i join the national team then? lol

ok, the next few days are gonna be a bore again.
maersk line was SUPPOSED to call me up to arrange an interview but till now there's no news whatsoever.
the only news i've gotten is bout the A levels being released on friday at 2.30.
now i'm getting worried.
i'm predicting:

A for maths,
C for physics
D for econs

possibly worse.
such pathetic grades due to my restless studying just a couple of days b4 the exams.
couldn't even concentrate during the papers.
Damn.
hope dad doesn't kill me

Anyhow, i hope the Air Force contacts me soon
i dun wanna undergo 9 months in NDU to obtain my diver's licence before crossing over.
too much time wasted.



i need some consolation.
anybody?


Dwayne ||| 4:20 PM

+++++

Wednesday, February 21, 2007
reunion?

15+ people were supposed to turn up
7 turned up eventually.
what happened to the rest?

• i've got to visit relatives
• i'm 'sorry' i forgot to call
• i told u i wasn't coming (bullshit)
• i'll come later... i'm not coming cos i'm lazy
• i've gotta go back to camp, very rush

well, you bloody hell know i msged you and even asked you to confirm if you could make it cos it was the 3rd day of new year. and you bloody hell agreed and said you were free.

whatever reasons you conjured was just fucking bullshit

what kind of class is this?
people taking the trouble to call everyone, prepare food etc
you end up saying u'll come but dont turn up in the end?
where's your bloody commitment

in future, dont blame anyone for not initiating any gatherings cos you people are the ones who are not fulfilling your word.

so much for class unity.
kiss my ass

Dwayne ||| 1:38 PM

+++++

Wednesday, February 14, 2007
lotsa stuff happened over the past few days..

saturday and sunday were totally burn-out days for me.

SAT: 2 hrs tennis, 1 hr bball, half hr squash
SUN: 4 hrs football

monday and tuesday went to working looking like my dick grew 10 cm larger and had to walk like a penguin to accommodate the size. HAHA - . -

so corny and i + weixin went to the NTU talks on sunday. realized that my future seriously lies in engineering. i can't imagine myself doing other topics that tend to deviate away from subjects like physics and maths. apparently i can only see myself studying in Mechanical engineering. and with a huge stroke of luck + a tinge of a miracle happening, i can see myself in aerospace engineering. haha.

went out with corny on tues to play pool. met his hot girl colleague. well, quite hot la. but too bad she's attached. hahaa! on the way home we were sorta like irritating this couple on the bus who were sitting in front of us. they probably just had their valentine's-eve dinner or something. they seemed to be sweet talking each other but obviously i didn't try to listen. so i guess this was what happened:

guy: hey babe, did you like the food tonight?

girl: yea, i think it was great

*oh yi yo yi oh yi yo yi oh yi yo yi yeh*
*i am tarzan from jungle you can be my fren*

guy: hmm. if you like i could take you there more often. as long as i could be with you

girl: oh honey, you're so -

*i am jane and i love to ride an elephant*

girl: honey, think we shud alight at the next stop

*go cheetah get banana hey monkey get funky*

HAHHAHA. THAT WAS SIMPLY HILARIOUS. hahaha. me and corny were listening to the iPod when that famous Toybox song came on. and i started singing the lyrics out. and you know what happens when i sing!! lol *faint


so today's valentines day and i went to work feeling worried cos i didn't hav anything to give my colleagues as a form of a token or something. so i searched my room and found some ribbon roses that i had made like 2 years ago or something and took it out and brought it to work. gave them to ah san and mas. haha.

early morning situation:


Linda comes to work and finds 6 bougainvillea flowers ( 2 colors each of magenta, yellow and white) on her table.

Linda: AIYOH. who give me flowers. MUST BE GABRIEL! (takes flowers and puts them aside, pausing to think if she shud throw them away)

Gabriel walks in awhile later

Gabriel: hey linda, happy valentine's day. No flowers ar?

Linda: hav. someone gave me. that fella must be damn cheapskate

Gabriel: EH what cheapskate. you're lucky i didn't take the flowers from the office. pluck from the roadside i still hav to keep a lookout for people u know. what if i get sa man? huh....

Linda: CHEAPSKATE. i want ROSES. LUNCH TIME U BETTER GET ME REAL ROSES. I WANT 6 OF THEM. I DONT CARE

Gabriel: *falls silent*

HAHAHAH early morning comic strip in action. haha.


The Roses i gave my colleagues

Where the clock is as i counted down the time. as u can see, i was getting bored at 9.30 alr..

Where i'll be next time


Dwayne ||| 4:36 PM

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Saturday, February 10, 2007
hmm. sometimes i just wish my blog was friend. so that i wun feel lazy to type all these down when i actually get into blogger and end up on this blogging page.



so i went out with hwee hwee on wednesday night.. met up and went down to spageddies at marina square! saw some cjcians dining there too, including udaya and vanessa anne vanderstraaten. i think vanessa is very pretty la. has a good figure complemented with just the right height. oh well.



so we talked over dinner bout her job offer and she said she didn't know if she should go for the job training! they didnt' provide her with a salary quotation so she was feeling a lil apprehensive bout it. bleh.



oh ya. she eats DAMN SLOW LA.. i think could hav finished 2 plates and still be faster than her. hhaha.



went to find ru at millennia walk. this was what i noticed:

1. she was bored
2. the music was boring
3. there were few people
4. the pay was crap
5. and the price tags were a nightmare

hahah. so i guess it really sucks to be working there la. ka na sai kinda job but i guess for her, it beats sitting around at home doing nothing. haha.

the rest of the evening was just pure tranquility and serenity. well if you exclude the bastard smokers who were along the esplanade riverside. so the both of us sat by the river and talked. den had a nice time talking bout the stars and all.. enjoyed those precious moments star gazing. not rare for me to star gaze.. but rare to star gaze with someone. haa. oh well.. great night out in the end. =)

thursday night ended up at yck for driving. driving's real slow now cos i'm not getting enuff practice every week. there's another session for me tmr. time to speed up baby. and met ardi on the way home. haha. =)

lazy alr. blog more next time!

tennis tmr!

p.s i hate it when people say they'd confirm but i dun receive anything whatsoever
i also hate it when people say they can but dun turn up.
i also hate it when people smoke and blow smoke in ur face

Dwayne ||| 3:40 PM

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Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Title: I believe in you
Artistes: Celine Dion & Il Divo

Lonely
The path you have chosen
A restless road
No turning back

One day you
Will find your light again
Don't you know
Don't let go
Be strong

Follow your heart
Let your love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you cannot do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.

Tout seul
Tu t'en iras tout seul
Coeur ouvert
A L'univers

Poursuis ta quete
Sans regarder derriére
N'attends pas
Que le jour
Se léve

Suis ton étoile
Va jusqu'ou ton reve t'emporte
Un jour tu le toucheras
Si tu croix si tu croix si tu croix
En toi

Suis la lumiére
N'eneins pas la flamme que tu portes
Au fonds de toi souviens-toi
Que je croix que je croix que je croix
En toi

Someday I'll find you
Someday you'll find me to
And when I hold you close
I'll know that is true

Follow your heart
Let you love lead through the darkness
Back to a place you once knew
I believe, I believe, I believe in you

Follow your dreams
Be yourself, an angel of kindness
There's nothing that you cannot do
I believe, I believe, I believe
In you.

i'm tired.. so so tired.. m giving up.. slowly.. yet.. there's this hesitation within me.. m i weak? or m i just thinking too much? help.. save me from sinking....


Dwayne ||| 4:59 PM

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Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Another step closer to fulfilling my ambition.....

took the whole day off for an interview to be a pilot of the RSAF.
the day didn't start as well as i planned as i waited for a cab to arrive for 20 mins.
gave me scares that i'd be late or something
but it was not meant to be.
my day was not to be ruined.
With the help of God, a taxi arrived and took me there at 8.20, 10mins before time.
passed through 2 ERP gantries. cost me a total of $19 on the cab fare.
nevertherless, it'll be earned back once my career path i straightened.

met benjamin chua and william at the air force recruitment centre.
THE FRIGGING AIR FORCE INTERVIEW TOOK THE WHOLE FRIGGIN DAY.
with the efficiency of the army, i think everybody was like wasting their time there waiting for their turn. people were unhappy as they had to skip a whole day's work just for the interview. but NOPE! i'm gonna be a PILOT!!! haha.

chatted with benji, william and some other guys there bout everything and anything under the sun. trust me, it was EVERYTHING and ANYTHING. benji was digressing to cum and blowjobs and sex and whatever. shall not elaborate further.. and i'm glad to declare that i failed to take part in any of these nonsensical talk.. well, maybe just a lil. hahaha

so i waited and waited from 8.30 till 3.30 for my turn! reading, sleeping, watching lilo and stitch on william's ipod.. i felt so empty without my hp with me. haha. i couldn't take pics either! urgh..!!! i was getting nervous with the interview but gradually calmed myself and regained my composure. afterall, interviews shud b conducted at the comfort of oneself as much as possible.

the details of the interview i will not divulge as its too long and troublesome! and i'm lazy to blog too! argh. haha. people who want info can come look for me. haha.

i passed the interview anyhows. set my medical date for monday. looks like i'll have to take another half day off. oh well. life sucks.


Dwayne ||| 1:35 PM

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Monday, February 05, 2007
i think i need a holiday after my job ends..
anyone wanna go with me? haha

its quite irritating to find all my guy frens M.I.A (for those who don't know, its missing in action)

pj, james, brian, aloysius ng, daniel soh, yan siang, yong lin gerald - NS

aloysius chua - busy with gf

shawn - too occupied with getting drunk and getting laid

zhi sheng - busy with his own camp facil stuff

vinson, jaja - overseas studying

ani - school

terence wah - working weird timings at ralph lauren. haha

my other guy frens? not so enthu ba..



sometimes i just wished that i had entered ns sooner.

at least life after work or during weekends wouldn't be so boring.


tmr pilot interview! luckky luck luck be with me! =)

i wanna do this:

i dont wanna do this:

________________________________________

sad to see classmates all split into their separate ways like that.
no one actually bothers to keep in touch with each other
or should i say ask each other how they're doing
well, except for the people in their own clique,
they just remain oblivious to the fact the the other peole who once made up the class of 2T26 2006 are still alive.

6A2 2000 wants a reunion, well, a few of them that is..
i'm wondering how m i gonna plan something like that when i probably dont have half of the class' contacts anymore. here's as much as i can remember of that once 42-strong p6 class.

me, jeremiah, elijah, jason, jie ren, jovian, aaron, ryan, william, shawn lau, shawn chen, elroy, manfred, hiang tee, jing fang, carrie, corinne, cheng ying, isis, shu yu, mei xian, melissa yao, melissa ng, esther, nicholas, jun yi, kai li, min yi, joycelyn, jie min, ying huan, ze hou, ya yun, joyce, desmond.

yea, thats probably it. 35 out of the 42 are still living in my memory. i wonder how will it be like if we all met up. will it be awkward? or will i be rowdy?

i have no idea. i'll try and pull something out of my sleeve though. and once i find the time. =)

and i'm so friggin bored now...

Dwayne ||| 10:47 AM

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Tuesday, January 30, 2007
i want to join the air force
i want to be a fighter pilot
i want to earn money
i want to study aerospace engineering
i want to earn big money
i want to give my girlfriend/wife a good life
i want to buy a big house in singapore
i want to buy a big house in australia
i want to buy an Audi R8
i want to buy a Lexus
i want to cross over to be a commercial pilot after airforce
i want to fly for Singapore Airlines
i want to bring my girlfriend/wife to many places
i want to have 4 kids
i want to have 2 boys and 2 girls
i want my kids to be trained in tennis or golf
i want to retire at the age of 56
i want to migrate to England at the age of 58
i want to watch live matches at the emirates stadium
i want to stay healthy and free from illnesses and diseases
i want to die at the age of 85


haa. thats probably my life's plans.


next few nights for me will probably be booked or should i say, i'm fully booked for this whole work week. weekends still free though. haa

tuesday: tennis with colleagues
wednesday: driving
thursday: driving
friday: out with vanessa

i havent watched pans labyrinth. anyone wanna watch with me? haha.


Dwayne ||| 1:26 PM

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Monday, January 29, 2007
i thought today's 2nd reading in church was very meaningful so with the help of Jasmine, managed to find the verse in the bible. here it is!

1 Corinthians 13:4

Love is patient and kind;
it is not jealous or conceited or proud;
love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable;
love does not keep a record of wrongs;
love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth.

love never gives up;
and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.

Love is eternal.
Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope and love;
and the greatest of these is love.

vinson our myanmese prince has left for australia.
how sad.
there goes my soccer buddy
haha.. here are some pictures of the great prince...

ok. i think thats enough. hahaha. looks gay. LOL.

well.. i havent got much to blog about actually..except that a dog came running after me last night cos the bloody owner didn't close the gate. i just stared at the dog. sis said it was dumb. i thought it was ingenius. never mind! i'm safe. but one more time tt happens and i'm gonna report that fella to the police. asshole..

saturday's driving was pathetic too. going round the circuit like at like 40 times for the whole 100 minutes. the blood instructor didn't even know how to pronounce cone properly.

instructor: later we'll practise some stopping. you see that corn there? we'll practice stopping in front of the corn.
me: *looks around for something yellow looking* where?
instructor: see that orange thing on the road?
me: OH. THE ORANGE CONE!! - . - Right. i'll practice stopping in front of the ORANGE CORN later. - . -

that was simply retarded.

Dwayne ||| 3:42 PM

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Thursday, January 25, 2007
Modelling?

hmm.. got home from work at bout 6.30 and decided to go for a run. been mighty long since i went for one. haa.

so i planned my route, somewhat the same route that i usually take just that i made a slight modification to one part of it.

DISTANCE: 5.925km
TIME: 25-30 mins

so i was running along poh huat road west, half panting and half not working when i passed by this fella.

IT: excuse me?
me: (turned around) huh?
IT: how old are you?
me: (bewildered) 19?
IT: are you working or studying?
me: hmm.. working but am awaiting results
IT: are you interested in modelling? its about 80-100 per session.
me: err... not really (why was i so stupid?!)
IT: do you usually workout alot?
me: not really. only when i have the time
IT: i see.. what about push ups? do you do them at home?
me: hmm.. sometimes i do but not an everyday sorta thing
IT: what sports do you play?
me: soccer.. basketball.. tennis..
IT: hmm.. could you lift up your shirt? let me see your tummy
me: *lifts shirt to reveal stomach* (DAMN. HOW STUPID. COULD HAVE GOTTEN CHEATED)
IT: hmm. not bad. quite a nice stomach. interested in swimwear modelling?
me: hmm. i dont think so?
IT: quite conservative huh?
me: yea..
IT: alright then, its ok.
me: yea. thx. (continues run)

damn. i was actually thinking of getting that person's phone number but before i could ask, tt fella zhao alr. oh well.

the reason why i call that person IT was because IT had a face of a woman, voice of a man, boobs like a woman and body like a man. so i was like.. hmm...? hahaha

k.. probably the next time i go running and i see IT, i might probably say yes. haha. =)




AIR FORCE INTERVIEW on 5th FEBRUARY!!!! =)
next step towards my ambition.
DREAM: working towards my aim of achieving Lieutenant General.

i believe that as long as you have passion in what you do, anything i possible.
with the help of my God, impossible is just a word.


Dwayne ||| 12:47 PM

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